DCay 310

Church today. Fr. Tom, our social activist priest, will be there and I like his services. I will think about my relationship with church and how I connect or not. Later, a walk to the harbor with Karen or a hill walk with Hollie. Doubt I can do both. I could scribble a few pages in my paper journal about 2017 or let it go without parsing the daily struggles. I don’t make resolutions as every morning I set a personal intention.

Day 309

Restless again. I have an unresolved itch that I haven’t identified yet. Need a hard game of “What do I want?” I am satisfied with so much of my life and the way I live it that I don’t know what’s missing. I made a beautiful pot of vegetable soup with a whisper of chili flakes to wake up my taste buds. I’ll get out and walk even though it’s damp and cold again. Walking is a saving grace and exercise too.

Day 308

Shopping and errands today plus a tank of gasoline for my dear old car. I feel the need to stock the cupboards and the refrigerator. Had a minor migraine yesterday. Just enough to dampen my mood. It’s the first one since January. I was hoping they were gone forever. A long sleep and interesting dreams erased all traces of the discomfort. I put another piece of watercolor paper on the kitchen table. No plan for it yet. Waiting to see what develops. 

Day 307

Back to routine and it’s okay. A week away from the senior center is a good thing. I am looking for other places to volunteer. Sorry that food-bank didn’t work out as it is a worthy project but not for us. I need people and not paperwork to accommodate my interest and eyesight. Had two social walks yesterday. I love stopping to visit with people while I’m out strutting my stuff. I have a place in my community. I get hugs too.

Day 306

No agenda and none wanted. I’m enjoying days with no expectations. I’ll walk and notice my neighborhood. I have delicious soup from the ham bone, split peas, black lentils, and the leftover root vegetables. The broth is thick and yummy. I can feel it running around making me warm and happy. The doodle is back on the kitchen table. I can finish it today. Simple attention makes it a mindful meditation for my busy mind. I need another project with repeated patterns.

Day 305

Yesterday was walking and watching four good movies, eating leftovers, and relaxing. We weathered another holiday season. Hollie and I talked about the new year and what we hope for. She had a difficult year with the house fire. She is doing her best with the trailer and her walking. She is a survivor for sure. I’m hoping to get busy with the PT exercises again and maybe go back to Yoga. It doesn’t take long for old muscles to lose tone.

Day 304

We had a wonderful family day with scrabble and our simple delicious meal. We had lots of laughing while preparing our meal. I realize how fortunate I am to have Hollie and Megan right here. Chuck was pleasant too. I did go to church and I’m glad I made the effort. Sang the familiar carols and enjoyed the full church. So often it is close to empty. Fr. David led us well. Then warm and tucked in for a long winter’s night.

Day 303

Yesterday Hollie and I shopped. Were in and out of Safeway in record time. Christmas Eve and not a creature is stirring. We are having family dinner today. Ham and root vegetables plus fruit salad. It will be plentiful. Later I may go to 7 PM church for carol singing and service. Or not. Megan went to Eureka last night to sing carols for Fr. Doug who is not long for this world. It was a loving gesture from longtime church campers.

Day 302

I did daub on the doodle, walk warmly dressed, sit and watch TV while munching chips with refried beans, Rotel, and pepperjack cheese dip. No product whatsoever. Enjoyed every minute and spent the entire day without speaking. This morning Hollie and I will shop for family dinner. We decided on ham and will make up the rest of the menu as we go along. Soon the holidays will be over and routine will be welcome. I count the new minutes of daylight. 

Day 3

Day 301

No agenda today. I like a day off with no expectation of activity or product. Maybe I’ll daub on the doodle, walk with lots of warm clothes on, write something new, find an exciting project, or sit, watch TV and eat chips. The day is open and so am I. I am not called to purge or sort. That’s a relief for when I am called, I am ruthless. Guess I’m running out of places that need a good inventory. Simple life

Day 300

We walked to the cold hall at 8:30. The food-bank was not ready. Hollie jumped  in and helped distribute to the bags. I tried to work with the registrations and applications and didn’t do well. Poor lighting and poor eyesight made my help minimal. Hollie did the work and I talked to the waiting people. At 12 we walked for a bowl of hot-sour soup. Rest of the day was about getting warm again. It was not a good fit as volunteers.

Day 299

Karen’s massage was lifesaving. I felt warm and put back together plus she seems to have taken the memory of the violence away. I know she has her healing ways. Today is wet and cold and I’m sure Hollie and I will not walk to our new volunteer duty at the VFW hall. We need to learn our job quickly. Maybe we will go to lunch after. Tomorrow is the longest night and then, yahoo, the light comes back minutes a day.

Doodle, day 3

Day 298

My bruised nervous system has recovered with quiet time and extra sleep. Ready to go again and today will be fun with Rosalie and lunch at Good Harvest. Later, massage with Karen. I’ll be back in shape after a day with friends. I’ll start with mat exercises. My body knows that I have been lax with the PT routine. It helps a lot with mobility. I have been stretching and minor walking due to knee pain. The cold weather brings achy joints.

Doodle day 2

Day 297

The sermon was about loving everybody and I was irritated. I can’t love those bums while my friends are so sick. Then I went for a walk and witnessed out of control rage committed by automobiles. Scary and dangerous to be in the area. I went around a building and watched the driver handcuffed. Too much emotions to hold and I felt weary, old, and helpless. Then Megan came in to show her agates from Kellogg beach and she listened to me.

Doodle, day 1

Day 296

I’ll go to morning prayer and I will not go next week. A couple times a month is enough. Yesterday I started a big paper and put a dab of blue in the middle of a whole bunch of circles. I’m waiting to see what happens next. Seeing the wasted people walk by to the liquor store while my creative, productive, loving friends are both dying makes me have uncomfortable thoughts about the meaning of life. It isn’t enough to be good.

Day 295

Yesterday I walked but my left knee made it a shorter walk than intended. I never have knee problems so I hope it was a quick and over event. I did fill the green bin from Megan’s yard again. Today I will go to the farm stand and stock up as they will be closed for two weeks. I want squash as well as green stuff. There is that want for something else looming. What can I do to fill the restlessness?

Day 294

Story group was special as I asked everyone to be there and they came. Carol was here for a few minutes and gave copies of her book to each of us. She is looking frail and our time with her is precious. I enjoy our stories and sharing. Today the dogs go for hair and nails and I do the shoot through Walmart trip. Later I will get out for a walk. The beautiful weather is ending. It has been a gift.

Day 293

I enjoyed the flannel sheets last night. I felt better yesterday than I have for a month! Domestic energy was on high and my home benefited. There was dust and dog hair everywhere and nearly filled the vacuum bag. Plus lots of weeding in Megan’s yard and two long walks. Yahoo for feeling well. Today is senior center duty followed by story group. I haven’t written a new story and will tell about Sunday’s walk with Hollie and discovering the beautiful grove. 

Day 292

It was a stimulating day. I have a lot to learn about politics and I’m willing. The BOS had interesting items and the pizza with Jim was full of information. Plus, Alabama came through with a Dem, hoping it’s an omen for things to come. Today is all about walking and weeding. I want a day for housework and feeling good about my property. I’ll start with laundry and floors while it’s still dark and move outside to fill the green bin.

Day 291

I found the information about the woman whose name is on the grove that Hollie enjoys. A volunteer at the park office looked her up and found that Templeman was an artist and writer who worked for restoration of natural places. Hollie was pleased to know about her. Today I’ll walk a lot before the long sit at the BOS. Later I’ll get the green bin filled with weeds and later still, pizza with our assemblyman Jim Wood and the Dem.committee.

Day 290

I enjoyed every minute of our walk yesterday and I want to do it again. Hollie has discovered a hidden jewel of river and redwoods. Special time to share it with her. Most of this week is routine: senior center duty, BOS etc. I like a predictable future and spontaneous events too. Wonder what surprises may break up the week. I know I’ll be out walking and doing yard work in this weather. Waiting for the holidays to be done and over.

Day 289

Sunday and I’m not going to church. Morning prayer until Christmas Eve. Hollie wants me to walk with her in her favorite places and I’m looking forward to going. Aside from brewing up vegetable soup, that’s the agenda. Hollie is my star. She is resilient with all the losses and changes and makes the best of each and every one of them. She appreciates the good things in her life and doesn’t concentrate of the rest. We’ll have fun walking together today.
Grandmother Rrdwood

Fairy Pool

Day 288

Yesterday’s agenda came to naught. Began feeling unwell with aches and blahs. Spent the day quietly napping and missing out. I wanted to go to Port O’Pints with Karen and Rosalie instead of curling up under my blankie. Today may be better and I can get to the farm stand and catch up on groceries. I dislike missing a whole day of my life without energy and wellness. My favorite days are the ones with parts and I feel like enjoying everything

Day 287

Errands and shopping today beginning with a plumber for Megan’s shower, again. The last fix didn’t last. It will probably need a new shower. Later I want warm slippers from Big 5 and a look at massage rollers. The weather calls for more walking and weeding while it’s dry and the ground is loose. I wish I could write. The middle of the night brings stories and I don’t capture them. I would like to be adding history to this little writing.

Day 286

The day improved and my wild curls are gone so I don’t look like Orphan Annie.  I had warm walks and connected to help with food bank later this month. Hollie and I like to find an activity we can do together and this is registration of new and regular users. Today I want to be outside as soon as senior center duty is done. Every dry day needs to be enjoyed to the fullest. The dust bunnies can wait for attention. 

Day 285

Mercury is retrograde big time or the giant full mon is messing with me causing misses and frustration dreams. I have a nightmare hangover and coffee is trying to reboot my brain. I’m enjoying the weather and will get out and walk a lot again today. My hair is untidy. It’s growing like a weed and this afternoon I will get it cut down to one inch all over. Manageable and easy to get under my warm cap. Hoping for better connections.

Day 284

Sarah this morning for a deep massage. The Dem committee meeting was informative and stimulating. We need to power up for the election year coming up quickly. I like being part of the group and having manageable tasks like BOS and phone calling. Sunny walking weather for sure that requires hat, gloves, and scarf for the cold wind. Invigorating and brings pink cheeks with it. I’ll get more clearing in Megan’s yard. I realize how much yard I have when it’s weeding time.

Day 283

The full moon makes beautiful patterns on the icy skylights. Looking for a clear cold day and good walking time after senior center duty. It’s important to get out in the sun after the rainy days to fend off the seasonal depression. Later a Dem committee meeting. I have a full life with participation and solitude. I haven’t finished the doodle painting. I want to start another large paper that can sit on the kitchen table for visits as I walk by. 

Day 282

The best part of the holiday fair was appreciation of my connections that have come from volunteering. Hugs from former PD, chamber of commerce, school, and senior center people. I love the hugs and quick catch-up conversations. Makes me aware of how much of the community I have served. I was too wet, cold and hungry to go for vegetables. Have to wait until next Saturday. Church today,  First day of Advent. That’s enough Christmas.We don’t decorate or celebrate at home.

Day 281

I asked my Collective Journey friends for a prompt and an alfa-poem idea came: DARKNESS. Haven’t worked on it yet but will. Today is the community Christmas shopping day at the fairgrounds and I will volunteer in the museum’s display for three hours with Max. We sell a lot at these events. Books and sea themed ornaments, jewelry and lighthouse stuff. It’s fun and I always see a lot of people I know. Later I hope to get to the farm stand.

Day 280

I feel sad that I don’t have stories any longer. Maybe if I had a prompt to start the words coming out again. The themes for senior news used to give me a creative boost when I thought up new ways to write on an old theme. Today I have errands and shopping plus a EKG at the office. I expect a good report as my resting heart rate is low and I exercise daily. I haven’t had a test for years.

Day 279

My A1C is 5.8. 6 is the marker for diabetes. I already exercise, drink water and eat well: no sugar, white flour, alcohol, or junk food. I do eat fruit, rice or whole wheat pasta and chips. So, I have until Valentine’s Day to get the number down. I walked seven miles yesterday in three long walks and loved every step. I didn’t do floors or dust so that is how I will start the day. Senior duty and then story group

Day 278

High spot yesterday was four-star dinner at Hollie’s new trailer. It was a bit of a go for Megan to find the road backwards in the dark but she did it. The trailer is cozy and Hollie will make it into a home while the house is being rebuilt. Today is yard day for sure. The rain didn’t stop yesterday so the cleanup didn’t happen. All my steps were inside pacing and prancing on the rebounder. I’m ready for a productive day.

Day 277

I did get a walk yesterday and will repeat that wonderful addiction today. I must walk! The yard needs a walk-about. I did trim roses and the chard patch needs to have the dry leaves pulled into the green bin. I’ll finish the doodle and start another one. Maybe find another place to purge like under the kitchen sink. I want to use the day well. Maybe go visiting or write a letter. Noone knows how many days are left in life. 

Day 276

Fr. Tom’s sermon at church was a replay of Chocolat’s message about living with inclusion and kindness. I had asked myself why I was still waking up every morning and there it was – I have a place in my community where I give smiles, hugs, and general good will. After four days nearly alone I’m looking forward to getting the routine going again. The seniors will be chatty after the holiday. Maybe get outside this afternoon for a walk and yard pickup.

Day 275

Wet windy Sunday morning. Woke up grumpy with Minnie walking on me at 3 something. Tossed her on the floor and went back to sleep only it isn’t really sleep any longer. It was a oollage of old pictures that went by like a flip book. Now thankfully coffee has restarted the day and I’m doing laundry and planning. I want to daub paint and finish the painting about all the roads home. I will go to church and enjoy turkey soup.

Day 274

I had a productive yesterday. I love these spurts of energy spent on simplifying life. The old flour etc from the top shelf is gone as are half of the old CDs from many years ago. Most of the music has not been played in this century. Two big bags will go to Daily Bread’s thrift store in the hopes someone will enjoy the variety. This morning I will get the turkey soup going. It’s my favorite part of the whole event.

Day 273

Many greetings sent and received. I have quite a network of connections. Big life. Our dinner was delicious and we enjoyed a scrabble game before we ate. Most of the time we were a happy family. Chuck started a dog fight that ended the day. Meg’s fresh pumpkin pie was lip smacking good. We quickly reduced the food into containers and washed up the pots and pans. Today we can graze on leftovers. Now we ignore Christmas wait for the new year.

Day 272

Hollie and I were out early yesterday and had our shopping done before the grocery store filled up. Today we will put our simple dinner together and enjoy the day as a family that includes five dogs. I have a ton of gratitude for my life. No need to make a list as I say thank you all day long. I’m thinking about all the previous holiday meals and the parade of others, family and friends, who have shared it with us. 

Day 271

Hollie will come for a shower. Still no water in the trailer. Then we will shop for dinner tomorrow. We have slimmed down the menu and that makes it easier to prepare and to use afterward. I enjoyed walking in the wind yesterday and the deep  massage. I like Karen’s way of using other modalities like her singing bowls as part of the process. The Grandmothers’ have been talking to me at 3 AM. I wish I could remember what they say.

Day 270

I’m doing well with sleeping these long nights. Hibernation for sure. The dogs and I are ready for bed early. One month until the Solstice and then the light minutes start coming back. Today is warm and showery so I can get out and walk. Later I see Karen for massage. I want to make better use of today. A little sprucing up will start the day and the PT mat will call for attention. I don’t want to go to Yoga.

Day 269

After two days of rest, TV, and food, I’m ready for action. I did get a couple of brisk walks and filled the green bin so wasn’t entirely a slug. I didn’t paint, didn’t write, didn’t find a good conversation, didn’t go to church, or reach out for company. So, based on that report, I guess I wanted to enjoy solitude and rest. My best days are those with parts: solitude, activity, and people. I can find more of those good days.

Day 268

Thought about my choice not to volunteer at the police department and realized that I was assessing my limitations rather than my potential to be helpful. I may reconsider after the first of the year. I do like the connection there. Today Hollie will come for a shower. No water hookup yet in the trailer. She is resilient and knows how to get on with her life in spite of the circumstances. I just hope that Chuck gets her home back soon.

Day 267

Watching Sea Quake fill up with a crowd was interesting. It’s an older bunch  there. The Millennials go to Port O Pints. I recognized a lot of people. The food was delicious: big salad, clam chowder, one pint of beer, $20. Won’t go often but will go with my friends. Today, farm stand and go to Hiouchi and see the trailer that Chuck and Hollie now live in. She says it’s a playhouse with most of her things stored. Progress now please.

Day 266

Story group was perfect, as always. Started today with no internet. Issue resolved with a half hour with a Spectrum agent. The glitch came from a Microsoft update! Today is dog day at the spa with me doing the quick step through Walmart. I do not like to shop there but they have a couple of products I can’t get anywhere else. Later I’m going to Sea Quake with Karen and Rosalie for a pint and a bowl of soup. Feeling grateful.

Day 265

The doctor appointment turned into a conversation in the dark. Nothing happens without electricity. I’m sure I’ll hear the test results today. We did have a pleasant chat as I have little of medical interest to relate. Dinner was very late but roast chicken is hard to beat. Today Yoga, senior center duty, and my favorite story group. My life is productive and satisfying. I’m not feeling the restless need for newness. I’m thinking that was a result of the early darkness.

Day 264

Off to exercise in the wind at the fitness center to do the circuit with Ellen. Long night and I’m sleeping soundly in spite of stuff hitting the house. Later, domestic goddess time. The house needs dedogging as they bring in the outdoors and spread it around. I will see Joan this afternoon and find out what the blood test revealed about the A1C. I’m hoping that the numbers are the same and I don’t have to do anything except my usual.

Day 263

Tuesday has a full agenda; Walk to Walgreen’s for a refill, walk to the bank to transfer money, stop at the PD to say that I wasn’t going to commit to a regular duty, then the Board of Supervisors meeting that was rather dull but thankfully short. Then a long walk to pay the cell bill and a great visit with Eileen. I enjoy her news and activities. Later, Hollie reported that the trailer is in place on their property. Good news.

Day 262

Church was meaningful with a sermon on hypervigilance and mindfulness and asking for prayers for Fran, my CJ friend. My little congregation is another family too. Then Gerry’s 90^th birthday party across the street where I exhibited my usual social discomfort by eating everything I could find and then leaving. It was a crowded and noisy affair that could have been a Yurok tribal meeting. Spent the rest of the day quietly after a brisk walk in the wind. Onward and upward.

Day 261

Meg and I went from the farm-stand to the Chart Room and enjoyed sea lions and fish and chips. It was a beautiful windy day with kites on the beach and wind surfers in the harbor. The parade was worthwhile. We followed the high school band and marches made it easy to keep pace. I am glad to show my political participation. Lost a long-time friend from the online journal list. We had been together for nearly 25 years. It’s another family.

Day 260

I will walk with the Democrats in the Veterans’ Day parade. It’s an opportunity to show my political participation and hand out candy or blow bubbles. I like being active with the group. Later, the farm-stand. I need vegetables and want squash, cauliflower, potatoes, and cabbage. Sarah did her usual good work for me and recommended a massage roller for use here. It is a way to work on the sore spots by myself. I may check out the choices of rollers.

Day 259

No, nothing popped up with newness for my restless self. I did cut down more of the hydrangea bush. Thing grew so large that it has taken four bins full. I did grab up a few orange tomatoes from the volunteer plant, two zucchinis, handsful of chard and kale and put them in the left over spaghetti. Filling and nutritious dish. Today I will get a Sarah massage. She finds all the needy spots and leaves me better than she finds me.

Day 258

Yoga first. Senior center duty next. What can I do that is new and stimulating? I need new people who think and converse about big things. I spent time at the PD yesterday. It’s going to take a while to be confident. I’ll go tomorrow and see if I want to be there. Maybe writing and painting will fill the bill. Those activities are here and I know how to do them. The wet dark outside makes the comfort zone very inviting.

Day 257

I am spending a couple of hours at the PD this morning to get the feel of the duty. The records tech wants to be in the evidence locker and that is a long way from the office. I’ll check myself about whether it’s a fit or not. I don’t want to be more trouble than I’m worth. Must do groceries. Mother Hubbard’s cupboard must have looked like mine. Need vegetables. Early out before the rain starts. Life is full of choices.

Day 256

Two long walks yesterday and hope to do it again as rain is in the forecast. I’ll start with routine and Yoga and then the day is open and I can figure it out as I go along. Tomorrow, after circuit exercise, I’ll visit at the police department to see if I want to volunteer there. It’s a push-pull right now wondering if I want that much responsibility. I do like the connection. I do like being engaged during the dark time.

Day 255

Looking forward to a productive and satisfying week. I will start with my PT routine and maybe go to fitness for the circuit. Not sure yet if I want to or slick up the house. Then I will warm the car with a longer drive to the senior center. I want to be a responsible car owner or seriously consider whether I want the car. I do use it so little but sure do like stepping into it when I want it. 

Day 254

Poor sleep and early wakeup by four-legged alarm clocks. Don’t know why the uproar at 3 AM. I didn’t see or hear anything worth the din. Then I couldn’t go back to sleep so coffee and heater were next on the agenda. Today I will go to church in the rain. Fr. David should be here for communion service. That’s all. Maybe a nap this afternoon while I pretend to watch a marathon of reruns. I have my colored lights turned on.

Day 253

First Saturday to drive to the farm stand. Makes the battery happy and me happy too. Later a plumber will come and fix the shower in Megan’s house that has been dripping for a long time. She didn’t tell me and we had a talk about responsibility of tenants. I plan to cut the rest of the hydrangea and fill the green bin. It is droopy and ready to rest. Still lots of kale and chard in the garden. Cold full moon.

Day 252

Deep conversations yesterday with my group. It was a treasure after a broken day. Started with Yoga, a plus. Then dead battery, again. Long wait for help and a longer wait at the shop while tests were done. Finally,new battery at no charge. I missed my senior center duty entirely and was tired from the sitting and waiting. Today will be good with roller massage and Yoga. I want a quiet day at home with dogs and blankie. Rain and soup.

Day 251

House is shiny clean even under the bed! Rest of the day was quiet, walked, visited, watched TV. Today will start with Yoga, senior center duty, and then story group. I enjoy the women and their stories so much. Bringing together women who didn’t know each other and bonded so quickly over similarities in their histories was a surprise and a joy. I have a new friend at Yoga, and I want to know her better. We bonded over Mary Oliver poetry.

Day 250

November begins. I began the day full of pep and ready for a productive day. Housework! There comes a minute when the necessity outweighs the ability to ignore the need. But first exercise with Ellen on the circuit at the fitness center. I am already feeling the results of adding to the daily routine. The breathing focus at Yoga is helping the most as shortness of breath is a problem. It’s the one symptom of the iron depletion that didn’t improve much.

Day 249

Yesterday stated with a car that wouldn’t start. Not the first time and I knew the battery was getting low and didn’t take care of it by driving more. Saved by Les Schwab. Today Yoga first and an extra senior center duty. I avoid Halloween. There are no children in the neighborhood and I don’t want to attract greedy monsters who come in cars to extort candy. Feeling the season changes and facing the dark with the intention of doing it well

Day 248

Monday. Orchids get water therapy and I get physical therapy stretching. My friend Ellen won’t go to fitness alone so I’m going to join her at 8 am for the circuit exercises followed by senior center duty. Later, hmm, what new and wonderful activity can I find or create? Walking for sure and maybe go in a different direction at least. More importantly, can I find a stimulating conversation or new place to visit. Haven’t toured the art galleries for a while.

Day 247

Rested yesterday and feel very well this morning. Guess a day off was required. I did look to the domestic chores and ignored them. Maybe today I’ll get interested in sweeping the floors. After church I may daub paint as I am enjoying the process of playing with lines and colors. Hollie and I will miss our Saturday walks and will see how going to the farm stand will work out. Is it the family feeling or the fresh vegetables that matter?

Day 246

Started yesterday with roller massage and Yoga. The rollers find every sore spot and the idea is to stay on the spot until it feels better. I will do it again. The Halloween party was crowded, noisy and fun. People were happy with my choices for costume prizes. I walked a lot in three separate walks. Need to get out and enjoy because it is getting darker every day. Last Farmers’ market today with Hollie. Meg went south to see the Sarahs.

Charly, our drag Queen, singing Patsy Cline.

Day 245

Busy yesterday and another one today. I asked for activity and there it is. First Yoga with roller massage, and then senior center for the Halloween party. I was asked to judge the costumes. I never participate in the social days at the center but I will do this for Tracy and Charlie. Besides, he bribed me with a cinnamon roll. Then the day is open. I’ll get out for a walk and the usual wander around the yard looking for weeds. 

Day 244

First a Yoga session, then senior center duty plus Tracy Cole is coming to talk to Medicare people for his study. I hope to find five or six interested folks to help him. Later I will get a walk and maybe find a place in the yard that needs attention. There is always something to do. I doodled with paint and paper and enjoy the process. The product isn’t the important part. It’s the playing that counts and tthe meditative attention is refreshing.

Day 243

Yoga showed me that as much as I already exercise I need more. I was stiff this morning when I rolled out of bed. I’ll get on the mat and stretch more. The BOS meeting was long and had two interesting presentations. As long as I learn something new about how our government works, I will attend and keep the time for the committee. Today the hydrangeas will go into the green bin.  The limelight turned pink and the blue one sags.

Day 242

Unusually warm day and I had three walks for almost seven miles! Woke up to a warm house and forecast of another beautiful day. I’ll go to Yoga for the 8 O’clock session, get home and dress for the BOS and possibly senior center duty too. There is Yoga each weekday morning and I’m ready to be there. The circuit training is also calling. My Silver Sneakers card makes it free. I’m restless for new connections and volunteer options. Must keep moving.

Day 241

Monday again. Weather change to warm and dry. Today I’ll walk to the chiropractor for another treatment. I still need to get my neck straightened out. It is so arthritic that it doesn’t hold the improvement as well as it once did. Yesterday was quiet. Megan and I shared a Chinese dinner and that was the high spot. I did daub on the painting. I like it. I will go to Express Fitness and sign up for Yoga. I need more activity.

Day 240

Yesterday morning’s good energy dwindled by afternoon and I fell into the comfort zone. I did make wonderful vegetable soup and add a few daubs of paint but I confess to TV under my blanket with two dogs. Today I’m ready to start over. That’s what morning is for, a new beginning with the intention of using it well. Church is on the agenda, plus more writing about the Sonoma state adventure that corresponded with age 42 and the half Uranus return.

Day 239

The dogs had a good report except they are both a bit overweight. Wet and windy Saturday morning and we will brave the weather to go to the market although we may drive. A day inside where a paint-box, a book, and a new recipe await attention. It’s time for crockpot and bone broth soups. Today I’ll buy squash for a vegetable soup and enjoy the wafting aroma. May borrow apples from the neighbor’s tree for a pot of sauce. All good.

Day 238

The rain refreshed the air and watered the blonde lawn. Today showers will let me get outside to walk. Early, the dogs go to the groomer followed by a vet visit for Della and Minnie. It’s the yearly check-up and I will hear about not brushing their teeth. It just doesn’t work. Even with help, the squirming and churning does not allow for the toothbrush to do much good. Later, I want to paint more doddles. Story group was warm and wonderful.

Day 237

Rain and wind today. It will help get the fires out that have been burning since July. I slept soundly after the massage and chiropractic visit and woke up feeling swaddled in the down comforter. Lovely to wake up feeling rested and ready for the day. Senior center duty after the routine house stuff, then later the story friends will come and spend an enjoyable time together. The weather change feels like an internal change too. Wonder what experience is coming next?

Day 236

I plan to walk a lot today as rain is coming. I’m enjoying the warm days and know they will end soon. It’s time for the cotton quilt to come off the bed and the down comforter to take its place. I am jumping out of bed and turning on the heater. Today I’ll have a massage with Karen and then a trip to the chiropractor for another tweak on my neck and lower back. Both of them help me keep moving

Day 235

Good walking and yard cleaning yesterday. Today I will do more of both activities. But first, routine: Stretches, exercise and tidying up the house before senior center duty. I did write a few lines about the history of the family in Sonoma County. It’s sad to see the results of the fires. Places that were dear to our visits are gone to ash. Also started a to write about break-ups and the aftereffects. Lots of memories are flying by in my mind.

Day 234

I have yard work today. I want to clean out the bales in Megan’s yard. It might rain later this week and I want the material piled up where I want it for the winter. Later, I will take Karen to her PT appointment again. She is doing very well and ready to get back to her busy life. I will find intervals to daub paint on paper. I’m enjoying the little mindful moments.  The end product is not the important part.

Day 233

Saturday was a good one. I enjoy our family walk-about. We laugh a lot. Megan will look for another job and maintain until she does. It’s difficult to stay in an uncomfortable situation. Today is church. I think Fr Tom is scheduled and then the day is open. I started a painting with the usual red line starting at the bottom of the page. It is something that pops up from my unconscious. I like walking by, stopping, adding lines and colors.

Day 232

Days begin with strong intentions that wear down during the day. How do I keep the energy going for the outcomes I want? The fresh day is full of encouragement and I feel strong. Today, just for today, I can fill myself with the activities and attitudes that I need. Jumping man is finished. I will crop the paper and that’s it. Today is the family trip to the farmers’ market. High spot in the week. Only three more for the season.

Day 231

What can I do today that will make me smile and have well-being? I don’t want another day of wandering around, picking things up and putting them back down, finding something to eat, and scrolling through TV looking for diversion. The restlessness is a sign that some part needs attention. I have paint on the table, took paper out of the closet, opened the Red Book for inspiration and nothing happened. I want to write memories of Sonoma county too. Such loss.

Day 230

Cold mornings and warm afternoons. Yesterday Karen did well at PT. She looks great and has exceeded expectations for healing. Today is senior center duty and that’s all the agenda. Hope to feel like yard work this afternoon. There is a lot of cleaning before the rains start. And it’s time to plan for the dark time. Rosalie and I talked about getting through without seasonal depression. We need to get together. I know that it’s activity and socializing that helps me.

Day 229

Yesterday was worthwhile. I like days with variety and first the BOS, then the center, and later, Tracy. In between I walked, visited, and enjoyed the fall day. Today I will take Karen to her physical therapy appointment and while she is there, I will go to the store for groceries. Megan’s house is without Joel finally. She learned a steep lesson. She jumped in too soon and is paying the price. We will have a sage smudging and thorough cleansing soon.

Day 228

Yesterday’s energy dwindled and I didn’t accomplish much. I skipped the Dem committee meeting. Just didn’t want to be there. Today is board of supervisors meeting and I will go. If it’s a short one, I may get to the senior center for lunch. Later I’ll see Tracy for another chiropractic manipulation. He helps me keep going. Megan didn’t feel positive about the interview and didn’t tell Jeff that she was looking for a different job. Her life is full of change.

Day 227

An open Monday awaits an agenda. Megan is having her interview with the county and then she has to talk to Jeff about leaving his office. I have no errands so I can make it up as I go along. I do want to paint the last part of the jumping man doodlefest. I’m thinking lightning flashes of different colors. Cleaning is always an option that I easily avoid. I might get in a cooking mood. Vegan recipes are currently appealing.

Day 226

Yesterday I walked to the photography show. It was very interesting as all the entries were local scenes. I like my painting! It’s about half done as there is lots of white paper. It’s relaxing to sit and doodle. Today I will lead morning prayer. It’s a matter of keeping everyone on the same page. Probably won’t be more than a handful present. The rest of the day is open so I can get outside for walking and putzing around the yard.

Day 225

Yesterday I took down the tall cypress tree. It was half-dead. Started painting my “doodlefest”. I walk by, grab a brush and add curlycues or zigzags. It’s pleasing and colorful. Yesterday Tracy helped my back and neck. Don’t know why I take so long to call the chiropractor. I’ll see him again on Tuesday to check the process. Sure did sleep soundly without the nagging aches. Saturday and that means family trip to the farmers’ market. It’s another of my favorite events. 

Day 224

Story group was remarkable. It’s amazing how much we learn about each other and it tightens an already secure and trusting bond. Megan is breaking up with Joel and I am delighted. He is so far from being a partner for her and, frankly, he is dumb. I’m helping by bailing out the amount of her student loan that he helped her pay. Today I’m going to play house. Not much to do after my ruthless  closetectomy except disperse the displaced items.

Day 223

Glorious weather and Hollie for company made yesterday perfect. We found what we were looking for and enjoyed our favorite lunch too. I have a plan for a painting. I have the paper right here on the table and when I walk by, I have ideas but no action yet. Today, after senior center duty, my story friends are coming to share. It is the highlight of the week. I will share an old essay about the 75^th reunion of my friends. 

Day 222

And then there were four: Pat died. First Joyce and the rest of us are doing well. Brings back memories of walking to Lincoln school for fifth grade and the bus trips so I could stay there for sixth. Then we met in the seventh grade and formed our group. I enjoyed the center yesterday and stayed to visit. Tuesday has a small lunch count and there is time for visiting. Today Hollie and I are going to Brookings for recreational shopping.

Day 221

Sarah really got me with her deep massage. She finds all my sore spots and digs in. Today is starting with bath time for orchids. I can concentrate on my tasks and leave the outside world outside. It’s too much to understand. The weather is autumn at its best, warm days and cool nights. I filled the green bin yesterday with weeds and old branches. Feels good.  Ky put the strip under the front door so now I can’t see daylight anymore. 

Day 220

Monday agenda: house and yard plus Sarah for massage. Nice weather, good walks, good life. There was no way to avoid the news this morning and the violence gave way to gratitude for the simple life I lead. One commentator said “This is the new norm.” and it’s horrifying to think that. I do know that I am more cautious than I once was. I don’t walk late in the day and I do have a security system plus three barking dogs.

Day 219

Found my pears plus peaches and prunes, carrots, string beans, and potatoes. Later Meg and I walked back to the market and bought lunch at Rebecca’s Pilipino stand. Rice noodles and barbecued chicken quarter. Later I succumbed to the comfort zone and watched a marathon. Today I’ll attend church. Fr. David might be there and I look forward to being there. I want to paint more. I’d like to do a big paper with lots of color and design. Not a representational picture

Day 218

The damp cancelled the barbecue. It wasn’t really raining. What wimps! Carol came and we painted leaves. The colors are perfect for trying to mix paint to match. We enjoyed the quiet activity together. Today Hollie, Megan, and I will go to our Saturday rendezvous at the farmers’ market. I’m looking for bosc pears. They are my favorite fall treat. The rest of the day is open. I could write, or paint again, or clean house, or weed. Or nothing. My choice.

Day 217

Yes to collecting leaves. They are beautiful colors and I have them safe under a wet paper towel until later when Carol and I will get ready to paint them. Mainly I want to see if I can mix the colors using my student paint boxes. I’m not going to invest in a lot of painting materials. Senior Center is having their fall barbecue at Beachfront Park today. It may be damp but I will attend. It’s also payday and annuity payday.

Day 216

Woke up again with a sore back. After stretches and moving, I’m fine again. Might be a muscle ache. Today is senior center duty followed by a quick shopping trip for a new toaster and soft shoes. I have another sliver from dancing barefoot on my wooden floors. The last museum duty was quiet. Not one visitor. We chatted and that was the end until next May. I hope to collect colored leaves from Carol’s yard. I’m in the mood to paint.

Day 215

It was a short meeting and I did get to do both duties. A busy day and a good one. Today is the last day of the seasonal duty at the museum. I’ll miss the chatter and visitors. Maybe I’ll look for another place to spend a couple of hours a week. It is better in the dark months to have outside activity and socializing. I do suffer from seasonal depression and candles and music help, it’s people who make the difference. 

Day 214

I enjoyed yesterday. I was busy filling the list and smiling when it was done. It was a change from senior center. Today I’ll go to board of supervisors meeting to document the time slots and pay attention to the behavior. It is a civic duty. If it is a short meeting, I’ll go to the center for lunch. I’m leaving the paint stuff on the table as I have an unfinished painting there. I want to get back paint and paper.

Day 213

I enjoyed church with Fr. Tom and his social justice sermon. Politically timely. Last night I dreamed that I was painting. I haven’t put wet stuff on dry stuff for years and this morning I took out paint pans and paper. I may recreate the dream painting. The day will start with routine house chores and errands. Need dog food and a quick step through Walmart.  The exercise mat will be in service to my sore back muscles. Greeting Monday happily again.

Day 212

Megan was camping. Hollie and I had a productive walk for our fruits and vegetables then stopped at Carol’s for tomatoes. Gene had a huge crop. I finished  with the bird and put tape on the cracked window. Nothing else happened except three walks and a lot of TV and excessive eating. I feel discipline coming on with the change in my weekly schedule. I say I want more out of my time and I’m the only one who can accomplish it.

Day 211

Today is famers’ market day and Hollie feels better and is coming to town. I haven’t seen her for two weeks! Megan too. She has also been invisible for a couple of weeks. Considering that she lives here, that is unusual. I worked on the Bird-of-paradise again yesterday and my back is sore. I must get back to the mat for the core exercises. The car had its six month checkup. Had an interesting conversation with Patti Alexander while waiting at Coast. 

Day 210

Great to have the story group back. We had an engaging catch-up with travel and family events to share. I didn’t have anything. I confessed to having a juicy prompt from my astrologer friends that I want to write about and the blank page is waiting for the first word. The change ages foretold by astrology were absolutely true for me beginning with 29 ½ and that’s where I want to begin. Then 42, 58, and the already active 84^th year. 

Day 209

Hollie wasn’t well lunch didn’t happen yet. It was a slow day at the museum with only one family of visitors. There were other volunteers to talk with and that was fun. I’m changing my day at the senior center from Monday to Tuesday. I need a change. Two of the Tuesdays I will go to Board of Supervisors meeting with the help of Crystal and Anne who will each take a Tuesday a month at the desk. Today story and tea!

Day 208

Clean house! Yes, I did it myself and then smiled as the dog hair flew already. Oh well, it was clean for a minute. Then I took on the bird-of-paradise plant that is taking over the rose garden. I need to clean out the side against the house where it stays damp in the winter. I filled the green bin and enjoyed every minute. Today, after museum duty, Hollie will pick me up and we are going to lunch. Always enjoy her.

Day 207

Air quality is GOOD! Thanks to the rain, I can breathe deeply outside without concern. I took three short walks yesterday and my left knee complained. I have not had any issues with my knees and I hope it’s just a passing event. Today I am going to clean my house from top to bottom. I want to do it myself even though I came close to calling for help. I enjoy seeing my house neat and spiffy by my own hands. 

Day 206

Damp and welcome. The air is still moderately unhealthy but help is on the way with showers. Today I’ll go for senior center duty and a much needed massage with Karen. I slept well for the first time in a month and it makes a difference in body and mind. I may get a walk early and enjoy the moisture. No errands, just a walk for pleasure. Actually put words in my paper journal. Felt good to write of the bothersome thoughts.

Day 205

No farmers’ market yesterday. The smoke was too bad. I did get a short walk later when the wind changed the smoke direction. Oh, rain. Please come and take away the prison of unhealthy air. Church today. It’s morning prayer and I’m not sure I want to go. Much as I acknowledge the church as my family, loyalty is sometimes undone by lack of stimulation. My spiritual life is my responsibility. I don’t depend on religion to deepen my connection to spirit.

Day 204

It was fun to spend time with the “girls” along with a pint of agate beer. Then we went to the beach and enjoyed our serene ocean. Doesn’t often look like a pond! My back aches from yard work yesterday. I’m so happy to be outside that I don’t mind. It’s been a month since I’ve felt like going out. Today is my favorite family outing to the farmers’ market. Then no agenda. I can make it up as I go along.

Day 203

Tea and stories group will meet on the 21^st and get into a routine again. I wish I had stories to share. What has happened to my words? Today the dogs go to the groomer and I need to clean the yard. I missed the green bin pickup on Wednesday. My energy level has not allowed for any weed distribution. Later Rosalie, Karen, and I will go to Port O Pints for Karen’s birthday. It’s a cute little place but acoustically uncomfortable. 

Day 202

It was an busy day at the museum. I like the visitors and their stories. Two more Wednesdays and the season will be over until May. Back to the senior center today. It is a band day and much as I enjoy their music, the volume gets to me. There is more smoke in the air and I’ll walk anyway. The cooler weather will help the fires with a little rain forecast for next week. I need to reconvene the story group. 

Day 201

The board meeting was agonizingly long and difficult. Oh, how did I choose this duty for the Dems! Politics can be incredibly ugly and makes me wish I had a rabies inoculation against vicious people. Today the quiet and peace of the museum where people are happy to be there and have interesting stories. My hair is short again. Janna put a product on that makes it shine. I like that. The smoke particulates are in the moderate range so no mask.

Day 200

Orchids are bathing in the sink. They are doing better since I moved them to the south window. Smoke has been down to moderate particulates and I have had great walks in the past three days. Yesterday was good. Senior center was okay and the Dem committee meeting was productive. I’m glad to be part of it. Today I will attend the board of supervisors meeting and later get a much needed haircut. I want it one inch all over. Easy care.

Day 199

Yesterday was better in terms of productions. At least I did laundry and swept the kitchen but no energy for the yard or big house stuff. At church I asked on behalf of all smoke sick people for a healing blessing. It was a good thing to do. Fr. David’s sermon was on mindfulness and how easy it is to get involved in distracting drama. Conversations after the service were interesting on current events. Later senior center duty and Dem committee meeting.

Day 198

Church today. Father David will be here. I hope to have productive energy either for the inside or the outside of my home. The farmers’ market was fun with Hollie and Megan. I brought home fruit and vegetables. I took three walks, stretched, then sat. It was an improvement and I want more. I know how to get back in routine and it starts with putting the mat down and getting on it. Hesitation wastes energy. I wish I wanted to write.

Day 197

Megan thought the smoke event was over after two relatively clean days. I had to tell her it was a respite, not a finale. This morning I smelled smoke when I picked up the paper. Hollie is coming for the market and I’m hoping walking is doable. I am slow and weak as if I had been sick for a month. Oh yeah, I have been. Even longer if I add the flu episode just before the smoke started. Start over again.

Day 196

The fresh air was wonderful and it’s damp this morning so the particulate count should be lower. I need domestic energy again. The house is needy for attention. I pulled up the artichoke plants as the gophers had eaten the roots. Now I want to replant the area with azaleas next month and maybe make an artichoke patch between the pear trees later. I’m through gardening. I noticed the diminishing interest this spring. I want a yard that is easier to maintain.

Day 195

Brief shower. Enough to notice and hope for more. Lightning close and Minnie is in the closet already. Yesterday was okay. Busy at the museum and I walked in the moderate air quality. Just can’t stay in when there is any break in the smoke. Today I’ll go to the senior center for duty and then a duty for the Dems. I’ll make the reminder calls for the meeting on Monday. I shopped  yesterday and bought gas. Let’s get back to normal!

Day 194

Three weeks of smoke related activities and it is wearing thin. This morning the full moon is yellow instead of red and stars are visible. Doesn’t mean it will stay clear but it is a relief to have a bit of normal atmosphere. Today I must venture out for shopping and museum duty. I can feel my body lose its fitness without walking and exercise. I hope to feel energized enough to be positive and overcome the stagnation. Imagine praying for rain!

Day 193

Another day controlled by the smoke. Nothing to do but what works. So I’m staying inside again. I did get a good particulate mask and by walking slowly, I was able to walk briefly. I can always look inside for activity. There are always drawers, cupboards, and closets to investigate for possible deletions or at least straightening. People came to the coast hoping to get out of the smoke only to find it was worse here. Pray for patience and early rain. 

Day 192

I was flat yesterday and may have more of the same lack of activity today. The Minsals’ are having a party that I will miss as I have no social energy. What I might do is get a particulate mask so I can venture timidly into the hot ugly outdoors. Oh for rain or at least a cleansing wind. This malaise could last until October when the rainy season begins. I need to do exercises as sitting is bad for my body.

Day 191

Today is two degrees cooler. The thick smoke is still an issue. After all the planning and expectation, the barbecue is done and I’m glad for it. Hollie was wonderful. She came early and we stayed until 2 when I just had to get out of there because it was too hot and smoky to breathe. About 100 people came and Jim Wood was great at speaking and smoozing with the crowd.  I will never volunteer again. Too many nit-pickers for progress. 

Day 190

Worst smoke day with ashes falling like snow, hot, still, totally unhealthy day. I walked to the Dem office with my mask on, worked at the fairgrounds getting ready for the barbecue today, and then met with Karen and Rosalie at Port O Pints. It’s a regular neighborhood pub with great sandwiches and lots of beer varieties. I had a delicious Reuben and an agate pint. It was too noisy for comfortable conversation so we came back here to finish our visit.

Day 189

Today I’ll meet the other committee people and we will take things from the office to the building for the barbecue tomorrow. I’ve done lots of inviting and am through with it. Just do it. This afternoon Karen will pick me up and we will meet Rosalie at Port O Pints for her birthday celebration. I will exercise restraint because I need a clear head tomorrow! I enjoy their company and lots of laughing will be the high point of the day. 

Day 188

I am mentally stimulated by new activities and the participation with the Dems has been a good one for new connections. Yesterday was the first well day in a month and I enjoyed every minute of it. Today smoke is back and that will curtail being outside. I have errands and obligations that I will take care of in spite of the poor air quality. The whole area is covered with the pall of sadness, loss, and danger.  I long for rain

Day 187

Woke up stiff and achy. Need my exercise routine. I lose fitness rapidly. I walked yesterday but slowly. My zip is gone for now. The top of my philosophy is family first and that starts with me. I must take care of myself and exercises keep my body working well. Today is museum duty. Lots of visitors last week and that makes it fun. I enjoy travel stories. People enjoy our collection. Later is the barbecue committee meeting. Kevin is a taskmaster.

Day 186

I called Eileen yesterday and we had a long deep conversation about all sorts of life things. Today an invitation to join Karen and Rosalie on Friday came in a text message. I love my connections. Today I want to connect with my domestic energy as the floors are dusty and dog hair piles up in little tornados that fly in front of the broom. I’d like to catch up on my paper journal too. And get outside if the smoke allows.

Day 185

Smoky and likely to be for a long time. After senior center duty, I’m going to Ace hardware to pick up a reel lawn mower for Megan’s yard. The grass is high and dry. My lawn people won’t go back there to mow. Maybe Joel will trim the hedge too. I’m going to walk early again. As long as I can look up and see blue sky and the wind is toward the north, I’m going outside. Everybody is feeling the smoke.

Day 184

Half year inventory: conscious aging group was successful and will start a new one, story group is alive and well, busy with the democratic central committee, keeping up with my volunteer duties, taking care of myself with exercise and nutrition, enjoying my home, dogs, and yard, being support for my family, and grateful for every day. I don’t have anything to add or subtract, just keep it up and be mindful of opportunities to participate in everything. Onward toward new years’ day.

Day 183

Friday was a day off. I didn’t do anything and enjoyed every minute of it. I walked to visit Carol and Gene and was rewarded with beautiful Big Flat tomatoes. They are such dear people and both sick with cancer. They keep going and are an example of keeping on with living. Today, if the smoke allows, Hollie and I will go to market. I will buy fruit. Megan went to Eureka after work yesterday. She needed girl time with the Sarahs.  

Day 182

Two walks outside yesterday and I loved it! The smoke will be back today as the wind is from the north again. Brookings is in serious danger. I have no agenda today except get the BOS timeline to Kevin. There was not much business and I left early so that won’t take long. I promised to find a trap to get rid of the squirrel. It keeps getting in Megan’s house. The squirrel is bolder, faster and smarter than all the dogs.

Day 181

My breathing was bad yesterday and Karen noticed and gave me an inhaler. It helped a lot. The smoke may be around for a long time so I’m glad to have a way to breathe easily. The barbecue committee is done with planning and we are ready as we can be for the event. What we need most is lots of people to attend. Today is senior center duty. It’s damp out and the air may be clear enough for a walk. 

Day 180

I miss walking outside but wisdom demands sacrifices for health. I used my mask walking to the BOS yesterday and will as I walk to the museum. Don’t know how much it helps but the air smells better through the mask. Joan Butler says I am pre-diabetic with a tiny number over the line so that watching my diet should be enough to control any escalation. The hard part will be giving up fruit especially summer fruits that I have been enjoying.

Day 179

Another gloomy day with terrible air quality. I do have a particulate mask now that was distributed by the doctors’ office. It’s cold and I turned on the heater because there is no sunlight. I will go to the board of supervisors meeting. Nothing on the agenda seems to jump out. Maybe it will be quick and uneventful. The story group women are asking to start meeting again. I’ll schedule us for September 14^th. First get through the barbecue for the Dems.

Day 178

Inside most of yesterday and likely again today. The smoke is causing symptoms and I do not feel well. I am planning to do senior center duty and that’s all. The fire is not going away soon. The eclipse is not going to be visible and I’m going to watch it on TV. Joel will repaint the door. I suggested reading labels. Wish I had some insights or deep meaning about life to write about. No such luck. Oh well, another day.

Day 177

I will go to church this morning and that is all. Too smoky to be outside. Yesterday we walked to market and I walked to the store. Both times the air seemed okay but it wasn’t wise. Had a shock when I saw that Joel had painted the outside door yellow! He is willing but incompetent. I’ll talk to him this morning and see that he understands that the door needs to be painted with external gray paint to match the walls.

Day 176

Walking outside was not healthy yesterday and won’t be today. The smoke is heavy and ashes are falling on the skylights. It makes the whole atmosphere sad and gloomy. So much loss and danger. I did get the house clean yesterday and lots of laundry. I like to wash the dog beds when they are at the groomer. Clean dogs, clean beds. I do need to shop for groceries so I may drive to the farmers’ market. It’s weird to stay inside.

Day 175

Smoky brown sun. Today has a lightweight agenda. Dog wash at 8 and that’s all. I’m hoping the domestic energy shows up. The floors need help. I may walk down to Home Depot and look at rugs. This old one is looking shabby and doesn’t look better after I vacuum. Soon the story group will meet again and I like the house to look inviting. Rosalie and I are talking about moving the story group into a conscious aging group. Might work.

Day 174

All was accomplished. I enjoyed all the parts yesterday. I like participating in the Dem committee. Seems I need a variety of people and activities to keep stimulated and engaged. Today is senior center duty and I will be a busy bee making sure everyone is happy. I’ll get outside for walking and weeding. Every sunny day reminds me that it will rain again and I had better enjoy it while it’s available. No extra activities today. Might even rest this afternoon.

Day 173

Dr. E. says my eye pressure is great and stable. Keep doing what I’m doing  Joan was shocked when I showed her the mislabeled prescription. I now have one done right. The insurance company doesn’t want to pay for the diabetic testing kit she ordered. I want to manage myself now and not get to the diabetic stage. I’d think the company would want me to do that. Today is museum duty, Karen for massage, and then a Dem barbecue committee meeting.

Day 172

Yesterday was busy and I did it all! Back in the groove. Long interesting Dem meeting plus barbecue meeting. I’m glad to be an involved member. Today I will go to Dr. E. for an eye pressure check and a quick step through Walmart. Later I will see Joan Butler for a medical check-up. Just items of follow-through left over from Deb Tyler’s incompetent care. I want a correctly labeled prescription and pre-diabetic information that she said I needed six months ago.

Day 171

Right now I’m planning a regular day with the hope that my energy will last. Fr. David prayed over me. I said I had entertained this flu bug long enough. I went from cold to warm immediately.  I did slump and napped for a whole lot of the Giants game. I walked to the store for dog cookies to save my happy home. They know when it’s 8 PM and that’s cookie time. I want my health back. Too much lost time.

Day 170

Church this morning. Fr. David is coming and I enjoy his service. I miss communion when we are priestless.  Another good nights’ sleep, I’m feeling better. Not 100%  but close. I want to get out for a walk later. Too much sitting and napping time and I lose my fitness fast. No deep thoughts to share, just gratitude for my choices and how my life is working. The coming week will be routine with duties that fit my skills, time, and motivation.

Day 169

I saw the video. https://paulcritz.wixsite.com/mysite and enjoyed it. Helping with the young people was fun. I slept well last night and feel so much better this morning. It’s dripping wet but we will walk to the market later. My appetite is back too and I want fruit. Looking forward to time with Hollie and Megan. That’s all the agenda. I’m still not noticing the dusty floors. Not quite enough energy for doing housework. Maybe I’ll find a good old movie to enjoy.

Day 168

I took a short walk and push the buttons on the dishwasher and washer. That was it for my energy. I am better though not well yet. I also did the reminder calling for the Dem committee and mainly talked to voice mail. I dislike missing out on anything and this cold has been discouraging. My immune system has been doing well with the advice from Dr. Getty and I’m taking acidophilus every day and yogurt too. I want a healthy life.

Day 167

Staying home again today. I am better but feeling fragile especially my head. The sad thing is I won’t join Karen and Rosalie at Port O Pints for an afternoon of laughing together. Spectrum brought a new cable box and checked everything out. Half a dozen rain drops fell in response to the thunder that Minnie reported at 3:40. I did get back to sleep for another hour. I may poke around the house to find a place to sort and separate. 

Day 166

Sicker now with the addition of a UTI. Miserable night. I wanted to stay in bed and turn on TV and the cable box won’t turn on. Did buy a new coffee pot and it worked just fine. The meeting yesterday was well attended. Oxford house won with applause from everyone present. Gitlin lost his hate plan. Bar O Ranch lost. I’m sad but expected it. Not enough boys to keep it going. I’m glad I was there even coughing and sneezing.

Day 165

Yesterday started positively and slid downhill by evening with cold symptoms that escalated during the night. This morning my coffee pot quit. I have a stash of coffee bags that will never replace coffee but  get the caffeine into the system. BOS this morning and I must go as I’m the one who recruited a ton of folks to be there. Joel painted the tank and stand with the marine paint. It should last a long time even in our briny atmosphere. 

Day 164

Interesting conversations at the fair booth. I find that I have a lot of information to offer because I pay attention to what’s up in the community. I like participating in local politics. I’ll get the routine done early starting with stretches, and exercise. I’m ready to get the nutrition part back on track, not that I indulge in junk food, but that I want to corral my appetite. The refrigerator is full of vegetables and fruit. That’s the place for mindfulness.

Day 163

Restful nights’ sleep and interesting dreams. Wish I could remember the details. I wake up smiling and I know it was a busy active dream. Hollie and I enjoyed the four mile walk to the market and home with our goodies and a quart of paint. We always find lots to talk about. I moved bale material around the gladiola patch and emptied the lettuce bowl. It was through and bolting. It was wonderful to go out and cut fresh lettuce leaves.

Day 162

After a delicious breakfast and friendly conversation, Rosalie and I saw the pigs, rabbits, flowers, and quilts before I went to the booth. It was busy there and lots of talks with the fairgoers. Only a couple of nasty comments from supporters of the nameless one. Today Hollie and I will go to the farmers’ market at the harbor and get the paint. Megan is going to see her friends so we will take her shopping list. I want fruit and vegetables

Day 161

After Renner”s I went to the marine supply store and ordered paint. A very nice clerk told me how to sand, clean, and paint the new tank and stand. Now I have to find someone to do it! This morning I’m having breakfast with Rosalie. Haven’t seen her all summer and I’m looking forward to catching up with her news. Then we will go to the fair and I will stay at the democrat’s booth for two hours. I enjoy senior day.

Day 160

I’ll walk down to Renner’s with the $1093.96 check for the new kerosene tank and stand. Egads. I kept the other one painted but the relentless briny air ate it anyway. This one will last as long as I need it. Wonder how easy it is not to be a homeowner and let the landlord pick up the bills. It is constant. I wrote one poem prompt write and Mary Oliver provides so many thought provoking lines that I will respond again.

Day 159

I haven’t yet decorated the first page of the paper journal but I did write a page and yes, I remember how it siphons off left-over emotions. My concern for Hollie overrides routine matters. It looks like Chuck has abandoned her. My fear is that he has spent the fire insurance money on his boat and where does that leave her? Practically homeless. Today is museum duty and it’s been interesting this season. Lots of visitors.  My life is full and satisfying.

‘Am I not old yet not half perfect?”

Mary Oliver - Messenger

Oh that rings true for me. Just this morning I had a problem expressing myself to the young man who came to fix my phone line. Sometimes I speak too quickly and then have to go back and restate the event. I had hoped that maturing would mean that somehow I would have mastery over communication. Alas, no. It doesn’t seem to have happened. All my life I have had a fear of being misunderstood and that continues even though I have learned to slow down and think before I speak most of the time. It doesn’t take much stress for me to lose words or trains of thought.  Then I feel old and tired. That “age-related” label is odious at best and an excuse at worst. 

Advice on Facebook: “You have criticized yourself enough, try compliments instead and see what happens.”  It’s not usual to hear positives from my inner dialogue and this was kind of a task at first but I carried on for about five minutes. I acknowledge people. Seems small but it makes a difference to the others. I’m good at brain-storming plans and knowing where I can fit in. I’m realistic about my abilities and skills. People trust me because I do what I say I’ll do. My friends know I support them and listen attentively. I’m always ready to give a compliment and I remember to ask about specifics. That helps people feel connected. I support my tiny church congregation out of loyalty and deep roots. t

That’s enough. Okay. I may often feel old and not half perfect but I take my place in my community and do it with vigor.

Day 158

Foggy first day of August. That’s usual when the valley is sizzling. I enjoyed the Dem meeting and found ways to add to the plans for the barbecue. I like being on the committee. Must get back my domestic goddess mojo. Then I will have earned my massage with Sarah.The taxes are finally filed after I told Jeff that unfinished business makes me anxious. The new paper journal is sitting open on the table. I want to get back to daily pages.

Day 157

New furniture arrangement is working fine. They orchids are definitely getting more light and I have plenty of room at the computer. Yesterday after church I had political discussions and then came home feeling restless. I wished that I had gone to the museum barbecue. I just didn’t feel social but was lonely. Hmm. After a couple walks and a Giants game, I settled down to being alone. Had lots of vegs for dinner. Later a Dem meeting for planning our barbecue. 

Day 156

I’ll go to church this morning. I missed two weeks and will miss next week as I will be working in the Dem booth at the fair. I want to support our tiny congregation. I’m working my way up out of this low spot. The peaks and valleys of energy and motivation seem to be more frequent lately. Mindfulness helps me notice. Today I will change this room so the orchids can get more light. I want them to grow colorful spikes.

Day 155

Did score blueberries and shared a pound with Cherie. She is my favorite at the senior center. Love her attitude and warm personality. I connected with Chris, the attorney taking Gene’s practice, and will take her my will and other papers. The rest of the day slipped by with a couple of walks and a Giants game. I did open the paper journal and find the last entry from mid June. I took out a new journal to start on August first.

Day 154

Open Friday. First the routine and then look for a new activity or connection. I will call the blueberry farm and hope to grab a couple of pounds for the freezer. There is always yard work and house stuff. Could find another spot to purge. The Hoosier cabinet is full of unused art material that could be redirected. The closets are still an issue for me as I’m having trouble letting go of clothes that are never worn but I love them

Jake saves things too,

Day 153

Better morning. Not dragging. Yesterday was okay. Nothing to put a star by on the calendar. Hope for a day of connections and conversation at the senior center or anywhere else. I’m feeling the need to find a new place for volunteering or socializing. Guess I’m unstimulated and that leads to boredom. Wish my writing muse would come back at least to the paper journal. I haven’t entered anything for months. No new thoughts or old thoughts either. No color or fun.

Day 152

Slept well. I hope I’m over the deep fatigue that has dragged me along for a few days. Working Mouse remotely updated my security on this computer yesterday. The Malware is off and I know she will fix it. I like to keep my machine clean and safe. Today is museum duty. Last week was interesting with the young people doing research. I enjoy sharing our community with visitors and locals. It keeps me learning. Plenty of house dusting could happen too.

Day 151

Orchids are soaking. Exercise mat is down. Stretches are done. I’ll get a walk before the long sit at the board meeting. I had a restless night and thankfully coffee has booted my brain into working order. I get night worries and concentrate on breathing. Works sometimes. Old stuff emerges and unfinished business bothers me. Guess that is age-related too. I don’t remember having nights where I dredge up long ago mistakes or poor decisions. I have more fun experiences for counter-examples.

Day 150

Kelle is going home today. Back to my routine and grateful for it. The older I get, the more I like things my way. Today I’ll get watering done. The sun is warm in the afternoon and I like being outside weeding and enjoying the yard. I may call the blueberry farm and see if there are any left by the time I get through with the senior center duty. I want berries in the freezer and it is a short season. 

Day 149

We all went to Freddy’s after the market. Megan found a dress, shoes, and a purse. She scored on Grandma again. I had a conversation with another G’Ma and we decided we were doing our jobs of spoiling the grand generation! I did get a sturdy pair of walking shoes and a bright shirt, Kelle found a bunch of stuff and Hollie refrained for buying anything. Then off to Chan’s for our favorite Szechwan chow Mein. Lots of laughing and good feelings.

Day 148

We will walk to the farmers’ market with Hollie and Megan. I want fruit again. The plums were juicy and delicious and the peaches also. Maybe blueberries will be ready. The produce is slow this year. Kelle and I may go to Freddy’s after that. She likes to shop there and I can always find something to look at, maybe a pair of walking shoes or a new shirt. Her visit is short this year so we want to do fun things.

Day 147

The dogs get their hair and nails done this morning. Kelle gets a massage. I’ll do grocery shopping. Sun is shining and the agenda is open for the day. I enjoyed the interview with the kids at the museum. I felt that I was instructive and supportive of their project. Paul asked if I would do a history segment on his radio station but Karen seemed less than enthused. Don’t know their history together. I do enjoy telling stories about our community. 

Day 146

The museum was full of visitors and was busy. A bunch of high school kids came to write a history of Beachfront Park and I helped them with columns from the Triplicate that I wrote years ago. Today I will join the kids after senior center duty as they want to interview me for their project. Then Karen, ahhh. Later today Kelle will arrive on the Point bus followed by dinner at Good Harvest. There was warm sun yesterday. That’s another ahhh!