Day 365

I have kept my word. I have taken care of myself, my family including dogs, kept my bills paid, house and yard neat, watched the neighborhood, volunteered in the community, and participated in local politics. It felt like time flew and was sluggish at the same time. Some days 82 words were too many, some days not enough. Such is life. A new year begins tomorrow and I hope for another successful life experience. The new blog will simply be Eighty-three Words.

Day 364

Two freezing walks yesterday but I was out! It is especially important after senior center duty to get fresh air and exercise. I replaced the light over the stove top, bought lettuce seeds. I am rushing spring. Have onion sets in the pot. Today Megan will join my bank account and have her name on my checks. Another business taken care of and my tax papers will be ready for her to take to the office. Slick. I don’t like unfinished business.

Day 363

A week at home is too long. I get comfortable doing nothing. I need at least a couple of duties to get cleaned up and out of the house. Had a long talk with neighbor Cerise about Gene and Carol who agreed that the family needs to step up. It’s not friends who make plans, it’s family. They are on their last days and need care more than casseroles. One more freezing day. The new growth on the lemon trees is burned.

Day 362

Karen’s massage was wonderful. She zeroed in on my left wing and took care of the spasms. She says it’s connected to my neck problems. Two walks yesterday bundled up. Today I’ll trim shrubs especially the lavender that is getting out of control. I talked to a police officer about Gene’s driving and he told me to call CHP and report his impairment. I’m torn. Don’t want to be the bad guy but also don’t want to regret if something unfortunate happens.

Dear Bruce,

I miss you. As an adult I could have used your presence and the friendship we had as children. Of course, we didn’t have any choice of friends with the gypsy living, the abuse and the neglect. So many moves and strange places like hotels and dismal apartments. I remember you got in trouble in Salt Lake City calling Mrs. Bargare a Nazi. That was the place where we had to share the bathroom with others and it smelled bad all the time. We slept in the bunkbeds in the dining room and the parents had walls around their bed. We played in the snow. We filled buckets with snow and made a fort. I had to stay upstairs with Clayton McArthur’s mom when mom went to work at Remington. We had a game with salt shakers in the Girard st. house when we put thread through the holes and dropped them over the railing from our part of the house. You and father got in a fight and broke my tea set. Lots of yelling. Then there was Eureka. We slept in the bunkbeds in a back porch at the Harris and F st. house and walked to Lincoln school. That was when my myopia was discovered by a school screening and our green teeth finally got attention. We went to 12 schools by the time we went to Junior High from the 6^th st. house. We stayed tight until we were married and then the rift became an abyss between our parents and your wife. You took her side and I know it was based on the abuse and neglect. I missed you so much and there was no way to find you again. The years simply made the divide permanent. When mom married Fred and you wouldn’t come to her wedding, she made it so clear that I was not the chosen one. She tried to get you back and I know father missed you too but he stayed loyal to mom and wouldn’t see you alone. She sent me a couple times and that didn’t work either. I don’t even know if you are alive. I did sent notice when mom died but that didn’t start any communication. I hope you had a happy life and were a good father to your daughters. I wish I could have known them.

                                        Your sister,

                                        Sharon

Day 361

My horoscope said wander and ramble so I wrote about the childhood moving. I’m feeling the need to record history. I have written other family letters. Must be because my birthday is coming up fast. Today is cold again and I will bundle up to walk to Karen’s for a massage. I will take greens and lemons to her. Hope the freeze didn’t harm my garden too badly. There is new growth and buds all over that could burn in the cold.

My Father worked for Fire Companies Adjustment Bureau and opened new offices for them. When connections were established he would get a new assignment. I was born in Vallejo California in 1935 and my birth certificate identified me as Shirley Jean Simon. We lived in Alameda before I had memory. I went to kindergarten at Mount Rose school in Reno, Nevada at age 4. We lived in a cute log cabin house.  First grade was at St. Thomas Aquinas when we lived on St. Lawrence street. The nuns questioned my age as I was 5 years old. I remember three houses in Reno. Each one a bit nicer than the previous one. We moved to Missoula, Montana, lived in the Semlo Hotel and ate most meals in a Chinese restaurant. Then came a sleazy apartment and I remember sitting on my knees in at a kitchen table learning to write Sharon. I don’t know why they changed my name. Then we lived in a little house where I had Rocky Mountain spotted fever from a  tick bite. Later we lived on Hilda street in a very nice house. There was a park across the street and we went to Paxton school for second grade and a bit of third. I remember getting dressed for the snowy walk and then undressing the snow clothes at school. The coat room smelled like wet rubber boots. Seemed to me that we spent a lot of time getting in and out of snow suits, boots, and gloves. Off to Salt Lake City where we lived in a variety of weird places and went to at least three difference schools. One house was a two room apartment in an old Victorian in the Sugar House district where we shared a bathroom with neighbors. It always smelled bad.  It had an ice box and it smelled too. Mother went to work at Remington small arms and we were left alone a lot. We moved to Girard street that had a hill great for sleds and went to Washington school. We had air raid drills there. I was in fourth grade for a short time. We moved to San Francisco and lived in a hotel for three months. We didn’t go to school. Finally ended up in Eureka where we lived at the Inn and I went to the last two weeks of the fourth grade at Jefferson school. We found a house at Harris and F Sts. and we walked to Lincoln school and that was the twelfth school . Then we moved to 6^th and P sts. and my brother went to Jr. High. I wanted to stay at Lincoln which required quite a complicated bus ride but I did it. My father was told to go to Phoenix  and my mother said no more moving. They fired him and he opened his own adjusting office. I rode my bike to Jr. High. We moved three more times before I graduated from High School. At 19 I was married and lived for 7 years in Scotia before living in Campton Heights in Fortuna. My brother Bruce and I were always close as most of the time we only had each other for company. We were neglected children. Our dental problems were discovered in a school screening at Lincoln school and my myopia was discovered there in the sixth grade. When he married, he was gone. He didn’t participate in the family any longer. In 1967 I remarried and moved my kids to Klamath, then to Crescent City in 1970. In 1976 I bought this house and have lived here for more than half my life.

How did all this affect my growing up? I learned not to prize material things because Father was going to throw them away before the next move. I had no social skills and didn’t have a clue how to fit in to all the new school situations. I was a wallpaper child leaning up against the wall and watching how people did things. I was more comfortable in class but recess and lunch time were miserable.  It made me a very aware teacher later and I made a point of making new kids comfortable. I never participated in games, sports or physical activities. I didn’t even jump rope. Most of what I know I learned from observing others. Marjorie was my first friend and I learned a lot from her about what that means. She shared her family with me and I learned about Grandmas from her dear Granny. Father used to say that all the moving made us resilient. Looking back I think it was child abuse.

Day 360

I’m thinking of writing about my childhood perigrinations. It was almost a gypsy lifestyle and one that shaped a lot of my behaviors. I did get out briefly yesterday. Walked in Safeway in sun and walked home in hail and wind. Felt good to get out of the comfort zone. Today I may get my routine in force again. The PT exercises have languished and it shows in my joints and muscles. At my age, consistency is what will keep me going.

Day 359

Dreary cold wet morning and I’m feeling dreary cold and uncomfortable. My body is aching and my energy is low. I’m not planning on church or walking or anything other than curling up. I have goodies in the refrigerator and am thankful for getting the shopping and errands done yesterday. It’s okay to have a planned non-productive day once in a while. The work ethic can have a day off too. I am not writing or doodling or haikuing or anything creative.