Day 362

Karen’s massage was wonderful. She zeroed in on my left wing and took care of the spasms. She says it’s connected to my neck problems. Two walks yesterday bundled up. Today I’ll trim shrubs especially the lavender that is getting out of control. I talked to a police officer about Gene’s driving and he told me to call CHP and report his impairment. I’m torn. Don’t want to be the bad guy but also don’t want to regret if something unfortunate happens.

Dear Bruce,

I miss you. As an adult I could have used your presence and the friendship we had as children. Of course, we didn’t have any choice of friends with the gypsy living, the abuse and the neglect. So many moves and strange places like hotels and dismal apartments. I remember you got in trouble in Salt Lake City calling Mrs. Bargare a Nazi. That was the place where we had to share the bathroom with others and it smelled bad all the time. We slept in the bunkbeds in the dining room and the parents had walls around their bed. We played in the snow. We filled buckets with snow and made a fort. I had to stay upstairs with Clayton McArthur’s mom when mom went to work at Remington. We had a game with salt shakers in the Girard st. house when we put thread through the holes and dropped them over the railing from our part of the house. You and father got in a fight and broke my tea set. Lots of yelling. Then there was Eureka. We slept in the bunkbeds in a back porch at the Harris and F st. house and walked to Lincoln school. That was when my myopia was discovered by a school screening and our green teeth finally got attention. We went to 12 schools by the time we went to Junior High from the 6^th st. house. We stayed tight until we were married and then the rift became an abyss between our parents and your wife. You took her side and I know it was based on the abuse and neglect. I missed you so much and there was no way to find you again. The years simply made the divide permanent. When mom married Fred and you wouldn’t come to her wedding, she made it so clear that I was not the chosen one. She tried to get you back and I know father missed you too but he stayed loyal to mom and wouldn’t see you alone. She sent me a couple times and that didn’t work either. I don’t even know if you are alive. I did sent notice when mom died but that didn’t start any communication. I hope you had a happy life and were a good father to your daughters. I wish I could have known them.

                                        Your sister,

                                        Sharon