Day 126

Yesterday was an improvement. I enjoyed the senior center and my place there. Had four short walks, one with Jake, one with Minnie and two alone. Read until my eyes quit. Today is damp and gray and my agenda is small. Shopping and yardwork . I will get the timeline written for the Dem committee. Just couldn’t focus on it and for sure I will send it today. I’m feeling change coming and maybe that’s why I’m hypervigilant. July brings new challenges.

Day 125

It was better, not good, but I’ll take better. I can’t shake the feeling that something is going boom any second. Not my usual cool self. I bought Rescue Remedy yesterday to calm my nerves. Routine day with stretches, exercise, and walk before senior center duty.   Later I will write the time line from the BOS to send to the Dem committee. Keeping busy with my contributions to the community will help me ground myself and feel okay. Pendulum, swing back positive.

Day 124

Yesterday was miserable. I wanted the good vibes to continue and No, that’s not what happened. Headache, fuzzy brain, mistakes, missteps, etc. Finally went to  bed. Not much improvement yet this morning. Egads, all I want is simple routine with a clear mind. Museum duty today. I’ll sit in the corner  with my mouth shut and hope for the best. It’s gray and damp so I won’t need to water the garden. Let this down time pass quickly. Let good  times roll.

Day 123

Yesterday was a good one. Lots of connections. Saw Randy Johnson and reminded him that the garage end still needs painting, Ky came after I texted him and he will get the door installed, talked to Ivan about the PD, voiced my need to work only one day at the senior center, pulled a few weeds, and still read for a lot of the afternoon. This morning is BOS. I need the security guy to change the batteries in the kitchen sensor.

Day 122

I was on my way to church and then turned around and came home. Today I will change my senior center duty to Thursday only. I may go to the police department and see what I can do there. I worked in the office and enjoyed it. I’m doing negative sorting at the moment and want to turn that around. Harry Potter novels have me captivated. I’m glad I waited to read them until now. I thought they would be  kids’ stories.

Day 121

I looked up my start date at the senior center – July 2006. Before that I was on the Board for two terms. No wonder I’m burned out. I mentioned leaving to two of the other volunteers who said it gets tiresome. But I need to have a schedule. I know myself and staying home would not be a healthful full time activity. I would sit, eat, watch TV. No, not yet ready for that. Instead of dithering about it, I need action.

Day 120

I tapped the Kindle until I finally found the next Harry Potter book. It isn’t easy to navigate without instruction. I’m enjoying the stories more than I thought I would. So much is cultural literacy now. Will go to the farmers’ market as usual. I love the Saturday ritual of walking to the fairgrounds. Don’t know yet if any family will join me. Later is home stuff. Always yard to clear and water. As always, I’m looking for something new to do.

Day 119

The story group will take July off and then we’ll see what happens next. I like the group. The senior center, not so much anymore. I’m going to cut down to Thursdays only. Today I’ll start the usual way and then see Tracy. My neck is better and I want another treatment. He does good work for me. Some grocery shopping will happen before Karen drops by to use the bathroom scale. She needs a marker for her weight changes. Busy Friday.

Day 118

Yesterday was productive at the museum. I like being busy with people. Karen did her wonderful massage and I was pink all over when she finished. Walking home in the wind was energizing. Today is senior center duty and story group. I’m thinking of disbanding the group at least for the summer. Neither Carol nor I are writing and we haven’t all been together for weeks. I enjoy the people a lot and maybe we will morph into a social tea group.

Day 117

Beautiful solstice morning. I enjoy seeing the sun come in the north windows. It is windy and bright. Today is museum duty with a later appointment with Karen for her holistic  massage. Yesterday I did a lot of yard work and feel good about filling the green bin. I cleaned behind the lemon trees where I have been throwing weeds to fill in the ditch by the new fence.  I moved more of the kale babies and have a huge crop coming. 

Day 116

Yesterday my neck was aching and it made a headache. I went to the chiropractor and felt immediate relief! My face turned pink and I felt straight. I wait too long to call. Must remember. Wet fog down to the ground again as it’s hot over the hill. I prefer the fog. I can work outside and enjoy the cool. I met Meg’s boyfriend. Liked him. She had a few dates that weren’t so promising. Last day of spring. It was late.

Day 115

Woke up too early and with a headache. I’m planning to go to the senior center after a week off. If it feels uncomfortable, I’ll come home. Hollie is home from Bend with a tired smile and a happy heart. That week every year if therapy for her and her friends. Monday will begin with the routine and it improves the way the day goes. The stretches and exercise wake up all my body parts after the coffee wakes up my brain.

Day 114

I miss having a Sunday story. No amount of sitting here staring at the keyboard is helping my words come out. Maybe I don’t have any more stories. The singing bowls are relaxing and do something to my brain. I feel the vibrations and ask them to stir the synapses and get me going. Every time I lose my place, forget something, or make a mistake, I want my clear and quick mind back. Am I sliding? I will be mindful today.

Day 113

Yesterday was slightly better. I did take care of the chores. Today I will walk to the farmers’ market. It’s the high point of the week so far. Hollie is still in Bend and maybe Megan will want to go. She is busy with a new boyfriend. Good for her. Her life changed so rapidly when she put her roots down. Later I will go to the singing bowls and relax while Rosalie, Karen, and Lise play their crystal and Tibetan bowls.

Day 112

Yesterday was flat. Didn’t get half-dressed until 2 PM. It’s been almost two weeks of low energy. Time to get figure out where my power is going. I feel the slump and want more. Today three Dachshunds go to the dog wash and I will shop for groceries. That is an early chore as the tourists take over by 10 AM. The fog is thick and I prefer it to the hot temperatures over the hill. I’m grateful for what I have. 

Day 111

Staying home from the senior center. Just don’t want to go. Maybe time to look for another place. It’s the same old thing every time. Much as I enjoy a few people, the whole thing is not. Digging in the dirt is enjoyable and I have lots to do especially since rain is forecast. More transplants of kale into the new bed. Did research yesterday at the museum and had lots of visitors. Fun time. I like Max. He’s an interesting partner.

Day 110

Museum today and a walk to the farmers’ market afterward. I want fresh food and that’s as fresh as possible. No need to wait until Saturday when I will go again. This is the time to fill up with nature’s best. Yesterday I came home from the BOS and wrote the report for the committee. Felt good to contribute to the local political effort. Hollie is having “therapy” with her girls. She needs a fun change from the business of the losses.

Day 109

Today is board of supervisors meeting. I’ll take better notes along with the time slots for the presentations. It is valued by the committee. Yesterday I worked in the yard for a couple of hours. There is so much I want to do and slowly I am accomplishing clearing weeds and rocks. I transplanted baby kale into the new bed. They will take off and grow big and strong. First stretches, exercise, and a walk. Maybe get the dust off the floors.

Day 108

I’m not going to the senior center today. I want to dig in the dirt. Yesterday the wind made being outside miserable. I did get a brisk walk before church and pushed the cardio minutes. I wear wrist and ankle weights to get my heart beat up. I like knowing that I’m doing all I know how to do to keep my body active. Later today is Dem meeting. I like my participation there and have offered to do the reminder calling.   

Day 107

At the farmers’ market, the water was over our shoes but we came away with strawberries, bok choy, spinach, and baby zucchini. Now it’s cold and windy with sun peeking out. After church I may get out in the yard. Not promising. Megan and I went to the used clothes store where she found pants for work and I found a couple of tops. She is taking her professional life seriously. I need to go there with an armload of unused clothing.

Day 106

Still Junuary weather. Wind, rain. We will still visit the farmers’ market this morning. I want more strawberries and greens. My little plants are holding up their leaves. They like the rain. Yesterday I cleaned in Megan’s yard and planted succulents on the rocks. It looks better. Megan is not a dirt person. Numbers are her happy place. Hollie is getting ready for her week in Bend with Laurie and Melanie. They meet every year for girlfriend time. Maybe I’ll move rocks today.

Day 105

Gray heavy sky. Rain due again. I will run out between showers and transplant kale into the new bed. That’s my agenda for today. I need inspiration or stimulation, something to break up the resistance and the blahs. I went through my documents looking for something to remind me that I’m a writer. No, Dusty memories of days when words flowed. Rueful sad scenarios that I can’t quite catch flash in my mind in the middle of the night. Come back Muse!

Day 104

Sheila and I did the shed as planned. It was a mess of spiders, rat droppings etc. I took the cabinet out. Now it’s wet.  I can get a hammer and break it up for the dump. Today is senior center and I am resisting the idea. Waffling interfered with sleep last night along with do-I-or-do-I-not write a letter to the editor about the intersection issue. I dislike unfinished business. I enjoyed seeing Megan in her office. She is a professional woman!

Day 103

Cool dark morning. Inside routine first plus a quick sweep of the floors. Later, museum duty. The visitors are fun and I hope we get a houseful again. Then Sheila is coming over and we will empty the garden shed, clean it, and reassemble it. There are items that need to be stored in the cupboards and maybe a few that can be tossed. Later still, rain. I filled the green bin yesterday and am ready to do it again. Feels good.

Day 102

Family dinner yesterday at the steak and seafood place. It was noisy, expensive, and slow service and the food was great with fancy presentation. Today I’m back in the dirt. Put a layer of garden soil on and transplanted chard starts. Today I’ll move kale.. Three kinds of kale and spinach coming up.  It’s going to rain in a couple of days and I want them in their new bed before it starts. Later Sarah will take the kinks out with massage.

Day 101

Monday again. After senior center duty I will buy garden soil to put on top of the bale material and then I can move the baby kale into a new bed. I’m ready to move chard too. I enjoy messing around in dirt. The day will start with the routine: Get on the mat after stretches and then walk. I told Kelle that my life is pleasant, no drama, no euphoria, stable, predictable, and I’m grateful for it. I don’t need more.

Day 100

Strange dreams of looking for long pants. I woke up cold. Too soon for the cotton quilt! I look forward to storing the down quilt as it symbolizes the warm season. Today I’ll go to church. Didn’t stay last week when it was morning prayer again. If that is all we have now, I may drop out again. I seek communion as it is my connection with Spirit. I broke up the bales yesterday and made a bed for the kale starts. 

Day 99

First farmers’ market at the fairgrounds with Hollie and Megan.  It’s one of the favorite family events. I’m looking forward to more strawberries and fresh greens. Meanwhile my crop is doing well with beautiful leaves growing every day. I did move rocks yesterday to the artichoke patch. Feels good to see progress on a very large job. The house is staying neat and clean with  five-minute housekeeping. Five minutes in each room every morning and my house glows. Must keep it up.

Day 98

Today feels like a restocking the cupboards day. Maybe a little recreational shopping instead of the hit-and-run variety. The yard always needs work. I’m in the mood to move rocks. My project to make another row of sod in Megan’s yard may happen. I’m bored with the senior center but won’t quit until I have another place to volunteer. It is too easy to stay home. That leads to sitting too much and I get used to being alone. I know myself.

Day 97

June gloom. Rain overnight. Good for the yard, not for the attitude. I enjoyed the visitors yesterday. They love our museum and it does have a wonderful collection. Today I hope to enjoy the folks at the senior center. Some days I don’t. And the housework goddess may drop in again. The kitchen is shiny and nary a crumb in sight. Even washed the floors there and cleaned the bathroom too. Maybe today the porches will feel lighter after a clean sweep.