Day 96

My bedroom is thoroughly clean. I went under the bed to get the dust bunnies off the headboard, every drawer is neat, the closet is lighter. Now the kitchen. I want the crumbs out of the drawers and the upper cupboards sorted and restacked. The gloomy weather has one good side effect as I need to use my energy inside. The garden is doing fine with new growth on everything. Today is museum duty. Last week we had lots of interesting visitors. 

Day 95

Today is already an improvement. It is damp and cool and I want to concentrate on cleaning every part of my bedroom. I’ve been promising to do that for a long time and today is the day. Hesitation wastes energy. Every time I say I’m going to do something and don’t, it causes stress somewhere in my soul. I don’t like unfinished business. The sorting and purging urge is feeling strong. It may be part of this feeling that I’m slowing down.

Day 94

Today is damp outside. Good for the garden, especially the places where it is now cleared of weeds. No agenda except to go to Carol’s and get her mail-box key so I can look after her property while they are in Seattle. Sweet people and both ill. Not fair. I  have a beef roast in the crockpot. Need potatoes and other roots to go with it. Nice walk to the store coming right up. Then find a peaceful activity for Memorial day.

Day 93

Love the feeling of seeing it all open and clean. Might be a metaphor for interior work. What happens when I’m doing as I say I want to do and then along comes ice cream and chips? The items don’t get in my basket by accident. Then I scramble to get rid of them as fast as possible. Egads. I get to start over this morning and do what leaves me feeling well at the end of the day. Onward and upward.

Day 92

Strawberries at the farm stand today. I’m so ready for fresh produce. Nothing special for Memorial Day weekend except the usual routine. I’ll get out and walk soon followed by yard work. I cleared the north side fence yesterday and it looks good. I need to deal with the weeds behind the lemon trees and also the left-over bale material. It’s great mulch and ground cover. The kale and chard patch is growing well and I had lettuce on my sandwich.

Day 91

Weary this morning from restless night, mild headache, and kind of grumpy attitude. Must fix all that before it ruins the day. Story group was chatting group, fun and we all seem to be in a flat spot about writing our memoirs. I told about all the activities and things I have given up since my 80^th birthday. I guess it’s age-related that I want to simplify while at the same time wanting new endeavors.  Today I’ll stay mindful and observe life.

Post to Collective Journey

I have started writing and deleted about a dozen times thinking all I have to tell is what I have already shared over and over. My life is a rut and I peek out once in a while to say hello. Then something happened to change my view. A new acquaintance  said, "It's good to keep busy when you get older." and I flared up. I am not keeping busy like an old lady in a rocking chair tatting. I am contributing to my community.. Then I told him my current philosophy of life: family first, keep my bills paid, my house clean, my yard neat, keep and eye on my neighborhood, volunteer in my community, participate in local politics, and feel gratitude all day long.. I do not think this person will ever say such an annoying thing to another elder ..

My daughter and son in law had a string of losses and are doing the best they can. There is little I can contribute to them except checking and supporting them with praise at the efforts to regain their lifestyle. They did replace the car that was a total loss by a hit and run driver. They repaired the roof where the tree broke it just a month before the fire that reduced half of their house and damaged the rest, then the incident with the nazi squatters in their rental that is just now repaired. Meanwhile Megan is through with the long commute and at work and loves it. I stand as the rock and keep everything in place as I can. 

Three friends are nearing the end of their cancer struggles. I lose friends at a scary rate. .Rosalie and I are planning another conscious aging group. Some of the people we contacted want to wait until fall as summer plans would interfere. I finally have enough good weather to reconstruct my garden and plant a few vegetables. It's my meditation to sit and watch them thrive. I'm off to a board of supervisors meeting. I take notes and a time line that the other committee members can read. The time line helps those who want to watch the video of the meeting. They. can find the part they are  interested in without watching it all. That's it. My health is great. Exercise and nutrition and "keeping busy" have rewards.. love you all, Shay 

Day 90

Cool clear morning and I’m up for a good day. I waited for a story to drop into my mind and hit on all the experiences I had while attending Sonoma state back in 1976. Maybe I can write about a part of that. It was a big jump and risk to leave here and wade into a new environment and new people. It was memorable. Today is senior center duty. The band will be there and that means a noisy time.

Day 89

Museum duty and more yard work. I did fill the green bin and can stuff in a few more weeds. Ah, the life of a homeowner! Always maintenance in one place or another.  I’m restless again, looking for something stimulating. I would like to have a spurt of writing energy. Tomorrow is story group and where is my contribution? Maybe a mindful observation today will bring up a memory worth sharing and saving. Ideas flit by like pages in a flip book.

Day 88

Hot yesterday and today. Perfect for yard cleaning and I did get all the weeds out of the gladiola patch. Lots more today after the board of supervisors meeting. As soon as I get home I will send the time-line and synopsis to Kevin for distribution to the committee. It is where I fit in and I’m glad to have a place. Megan posed in her graduation regalia with the rhododendron tree. The both look beautiful. She is excited about her job.

Day 87

How the weeks fly by! Didn’t get much done in the yard yesterday except watering. I need a massive yard energy burst and I know it will happen. Then the rocks and the weeds will get attention. I didn’t stay for the coffee hour after church and later I realized that I missed the conversations. Spent most of the day in silence as Megan wasn’t well and dinner was postponed. Too much distraction from television and I don’t reach out for friends.

Day 86

Sunday will begin with a walk in the cool calm morning followed by church. Later the family will have a celebratory dinner for Megan’s graduation. She wants steak. Things are moving for the family as Chuck has finished the work at the Lake street house and can get busy with their house. Hollie is patient with the business of the reconstruction and I hope it smooths out. The money part is still pending due to the mortgage company holding the insurance check.

Day 85

Did the errands yesterday and that was about all she wrote. Cool foggy morning and I’m going out in a minute but first a handful of strawberries! Sure sign of spring and very tasty. Later I’m going to the farm stand and take in a bunch of fresh produce. Much later I’m going to the singing bowls evening with Karen and Rosalie. It is a magical experience and makes my brain quiet down. I can feel the vibrations in my whole body. 

Day 84

Counted my blessings all day long and that made it a good day. I had to ice my busra. Didn’t exercise or stretch for a couple of days and that is the result. I’ve been walking a lot and pushing myself to get cardio minutes without doing the basics first. Not a good idea and I have learned again. Today is dog wash and run through Walmart. Need groceries too. I cleaned out the freezer and it is nearly empty. Get busy.

Day 83

Calm cool morning and I’m going out early for a walk. After the gloomy months in the house, I can’t get enough outside time! I’m gearing up for a good day. A positive attitude makes everything better. I am resisting senior center duty again. Some days I don’t want to be there and yet I don’t want to stay away either. Until I find another placement, I need to be part of the center. What can I do to make it comfortable? 

Day 82

The kale seeds are peeking up in spite of the cold temperatures. I’m pleased that I overcame the resistance and planted both seeds and plants. The chard and zucchinis are holding up their leaves. Supposed to be sunny for a few days. Back to the museum today for the visitor season. I enjoy the stories and often get to tell stories about our place. It helps that I wrote the newspaper history column for a few years. Megan already loves her job.

Day 81

The garden is happy with the mild showers. Good day to follow through on the house. First the routine exercises and then orchid water therapy. Floors and who knows what else. Maybe the closet that needs pruning.  Megan was exhausted after her first day on the job. It’s appropriate as there is much to learn at the beginning of every new endeavor. I know her style is to soak up information fast. It’s exciting to watch her move into a professional career. 

Day 80

Hope for less wind. I enjoy my sun porches but would rather be working in the yard. Today I commit to taking care of myself with exercise and nutrition. I feel better when I surrender to my standards. I know how to do the best I can but still allow sabotage to occur. After the weekend is the time to forgive the temptations and forge ahead. The house needs notice too. Get busy! These slow spells take a toll on my attitude.

Day 79

Megan came home exhausted from the long day and the excitement. I was a bit sad that I didn’t get to see her graduate. Today she wants to snug into her house and be ready for work tomorrow. It’s a sunny cold Sunday morning and I will lead Morning Prayer again. I don’t want to be counted on for church duties and I did agree to do this with Mike. He wrote his sermon. The chard plants are holding up their leaves.

Memory

I started at Humboldt in 1952. I was 17 years old. When I was 19, I married Hollis and commuted from Scotia. for my junior year. When I was 20 the boys were born followed by Hollie when I was 22. When she was 18 months old, I took a few substitute jobs in the elementary school in Rio Dell. I started taking extension classes, correspondence classes, and substituting when they were still small. Aunt Lona came to care for them. When Hollie was 3 and the boys were 5 and in Kindergarten, I took a Kindergarten job at Toddy Thomas in Campton Heights. In the next years I went from school to Humboldt twice a week and went twice to summer session. Finally, in 1964, 12 years after I started, I graduated. Holllis and Hollie watched me walk. The boys were in San Mateo with my parents. I quit the job at Toddy Thomas and went to Hydesville where they had a brand new school and I was able to choose furniture, toys, and supplies. It was a beautiful school. I met Dave there. In 1967, with a new job in Crescent City and a new marriage, we moved to Rudisill Road and began the next 25 years teaching here. Then I was injured at work and was terminated. A new career started as I became a community volunteer and that’s where I am now.

Day 78

A very excited Megan is ready to walk for her diploma and her award. She took three roses to wear in her hair. I’ll find the link to watch on-line. Did more planting yesterday with rainbow chard starts that I found at the feed store. It feels good to dig in the dirt after the long wet spell. It’s never too late to work the earth and hope for fresh produce. It’s wet out again and cool but I’ll get out anyway.

Day 77

Cool and damp. Good for the places where I put gardening energy. I have an open day. Megan is going to Arcata to stay with her friend for the night. Her graduation ceremony is 8 AM tomorrow. Chuck and Hollie are going south later too. I will watch the ceremony on my computer. Meg has a special presentation after the graduation where she will be given a prestigious award for her achievements in accounting. Then she moves from student to working woman. 

Day 76

I shamed myself into action and planted seeds for kale and spinach. Didn’t find chard starts or seeds but will continue to look. They will grow all year. I put down the garden cloth around the artichoke plants and moved rocks along the fence line to hold it down. Had my hair cut down to one inch all over. Good for windy days! Today is senior center duty and story group. It is the life I have created and it’s very good.

Day 75

The board meeting was interesting as it was Bar O Boys Ranch that was discussed. Lots of support and brain storming about ways to keep it open. I had to leave for a 1 PM dentist appointment. I’ll walk to the store with my cart. It’s supposed to rain again and I need groceries. Today I plant greens or don’t at all. I’m surprised at my lack of interest. Where is my jumping-up-and-down gardener energy? Is my age catching up with me?

Day 74

I was paying attention and listening to the political talk at the Dems meeting. I have a lot to learn to be a useful member. Today I will attend the board of supervisors meeting and keep time. I’ll send a timeline to Kevin. Later, the dentist. My appointments are quick and easy. The yard is calling me to decide to plant or not to plant. That is the question. I look at the bale mess, turn around and come back in house. 

Day 73

Hollie has been driving a rental car since theirs was totaled by a hit and run accident. Yesterday she said she couldn’t drive that car any longer. It was uncomfortable and smelly so I loaned her mine for a week. I’ve been wanting to see how my life would work without a car and this is my chance to experience it. Megan will take me to the senior center and I will walk home. The other agenda can be filled with walking. 

Day 72

No Sunday story again. I look at the memory list and am not inspired. In 82 active years of living, I should certainly be able to find an old event worth memorializing. Scenes flash by in my mind and I discard them. I miss writing. Giving up senior news and the church newsletter may have stopped the words or I gave up because the words stopped. A prompt often stimulates a flow of ideas and one might land and create a story.

Day 71

Spent a lot of yesterday trying out the new recliner. Watched a marathon TV series with the dogs. The chair works well. Today the sun is shining and it will be windy again so it’s an early walk for me. Maybe I’ll go to the farm stand. I would like fresh produce as my refrigerator is empty. Yesterday I ran into an old friend while walking and had a quick catch up conversation. I am blessed with good people in my life.

Day 70

Wet Friday morning. No agenda so I get to make it up as I go along. Maybe a little poking around kind of shopping instead of the grab and run kind. Jake did fine with his teeth cleaning. One extraction. Two medications for a few days. He is already running around. Minnie and Della mothered him with lots of snuffling and licking him. Guess they wanted to get the hospital smell off of him. He is definitely part of our family pack. 

Day 69

My physical therapist said I did better than expected with my sessions. He said I did better than most people because I did the homework. Of course I did. Nobody can fix me but me. I bought a new recliner. It’s oversized so more room for dogs. I took the old one to Hiouchi for Hollie in her temporary home that is short on comfortable furniture. Jake is going for his teeth procedure this morning and I’ll go to the senior center.

Day 68

New artichokes in the ground and seeds spread on the bales. Finally get to work in the dirt. It’s Megan’s last day of classes. Next week she has finals, then graduation on Saturday, the 13^th  and work starts on Monday. She has done well with her choices. Today is the last day of physical therapy. It’s all up to me now to keep the progress I’ve made. No pain from the bursitis except if I roll on my right side at night. 

day 67

Yes! I worked in the dirt. Makes me smile all over. More today after a visit to the nursery and a massage from Sarah. Two more artichoke plants, weed preventing cloth down and pile up rocks for a permanent patch. I enjoyed the senior center yesterday because of interesting conversations. I enjoy people and their stories. Maybe I’ll get all three dogs out for a long walk. They get exercise in the yard but sustained walking is better for all of us. 

Day 66

Megan and I enjoyed visiting Hollie in Hiouchi. She has a good place to live until her home is rebuilt and we walked all over the park to see the sights. She is doing so well under a ton of trauma. Yesterday I planted zucchini babies in the bale remains. Today I’ll get the artichokes in the ground.  Maybe get the chard and kale seeds planted in another part of bale remains. No new bales this year and a much smaller garden.