Day 65

The volunteer breakfast was okay. Group of people was interesting and fun but the food was not. The view of the ocean was great. Today is Sunday. Church?  Maybe. First I must exercise and walk. Later I will get to the home show and then Megan and I are going to Hiouchi to visit Hollie and Chuck in their temporary home. Maybe take her a plant that’s easy to take care of. The sunny days are such a relief. Life is good.

Five seven five

Not much poetic content

Just fun to create

Day 64

It was a good day with lots of outside activity. More today beginning with a walk, then dress up for the volunteer recognition breakfast at ocean lodge. It’s fun to be with volunteers from other locations. Then a trip to the farm stand and a walk to the home show. I’ll look at hot tubs but I only want a small one if any. There will be vendors and nursery stock. Maybe I’ll find artichoke plants or raspberry canes. Busy sunny Saturday.

Lettuce bowl thriving
Sweet tender mouthfuls of Spring
My farmer self smiles

Day 63

After an early walk I will meet Kevin at Starbuck’s to get acquainted and see where I fit in the Dem committee. I like to be sure that I can do what is expected and know both my limitations and abilities. It may be dry enough, finally, to get out and plan for a smaller garden. The bales have melted and I will use them for a few greens and zucchinis. I’m hoping the sun can dry out the gloomy attitude too.

Chef Charlie's pizza
Serve and served at the center
Social nutrition

Day 62

What a delight to open the shutters and not see rain. The sky is cloudy with blue patches. Oh my, what a lift for the spirit! Today is senior center duty. Charlie is making his famous pizza so the place will be hopping. Then the Giants day game before my writing/story group assembles. I enjoy days with parts and still have time for walks and exercises. Jackie FB’d about our high s school days. It brought back memories of our little group.

Seeds in their packets

Longing for sunshine and dirt

It's time for seedlings

Day 61

Wet again. Forecast for dry days coming soon. Hope the sun raises the gloomy pall. Today I’ll go to physical therapy and do the stretches. My appointments are for monitor and correct. The board of supervisors meeting was long. I left early because I couldn’t sit any longer. The hospital issue brought a full chamber. Aside from writing a couple of checks, I have no agenda for the rest of the day. I could sort through the seed packets again with anticipation. 

My brain is on hold
Waiting for inspiration
Here, Spark, come here now!

Day 60

I have a lot to learn about being a member of the Dem committee and I want to be a productive part of the process. I will record time at the board of supervisors meeting today and meet with Kevin soon to get acquainted. It’s wet but I’ll get out for a walk. Yesterday I hit five miles for the first time in weeks! I want to get memories and words flowing. Haven’t had any brain storms lately and I miss writing.

Busy with politics
To help my community
This is where I live

Day 59

I did get out for a walk. I have a warm hat, scarf, and gloves, look at the calendar and sigh. It was Megan’s birthday and we had family dinner at Wing Wah. It is Chuck’s favorite place and we had family style dinner. There was enough food so we all have leftovers today! He has been working to get the rental finished. It was trashed by squatters.Today is wet, and after senior center duty I will look forward to Democratic committee.

Jackie and I text
Both early morning people
We are missing Spring

Day 58

Coffee will call the spirit to get this body jumping. It’s Sunday and after church I will watch the Giants lose another game. Sometimes it’s hard to be a fan but when they slump is the important time to root for them. It’s wet so the soggy garden will not get attention. The lettuce bowl is ready to use. Nothing like fresh food. I’m addicted to walking and thanks to the rebounder I get exercise and stay dry at the same time. 

Of all names I'm called

My favorite is Grandma

Happy Birthday Meg

Sunday writing

Megan is confused about her changes. She is on the verge of a whole new way of living and it means changes in relationships. Her longtime friend Sarah and she are cooling their friendship and I know that is the natural separation, it is uncomfortable. The change started when Megan moved back to C. City as she and Sarah shared an apartment for years. Megan needed the help with the rent and Sarah needed a place to live. It was mutually satisfactory and then Sarah had to find a place on her own and Meg needed to learn to live alone as she was commuting to Humboldt. Now Sarah is on her own and working and Meg is almost graduated and has a job waiting. The inevitable changes are a time to keep the friendship without the daily interaction. It’s tricky but can be done.

There are situational friendships. When Hollie was working, keeping her family going, and commuting to Humboldt, she shared rides and classes with another C. City woman in the same circumstance. After graduation and employment the other woman drifted away from contact. Hollie was confused thinking she had done something to cause a rift. No, I counseled. When the mutual goal was completed, the relationship was also completed. She accepted that explanation.

I have five women who have been friends since seventh grade. 70 years. Even though our connection is likely to be cards on birthdays, the caring and connections are still there. We have lost one friend and one is teetering on the edge. It is worth the effort to write and call and keep our long history going.

Friendships like all relationships need tending. It takes attention to move from an active one like going to classes or living together to a friendship at distance. Divergence is change and all change is stressful. And it is possible to make that change and keep each other up on the news and stories about work and life. I’m sure that Megan will make that leap while she adjusts to full time living here, working, and making new friends.

Day 57

It was sunny! Now it’s wet again with a rainy week forecast. Egads. Karen brought raspberry canes to add to my garden. She and I are farmers at heart. There are baby vegetables at home depot and I would like to be planting them. Today, well, nothing planned. Maybe go to the farm stand, maybe find a book. The other projects are calling but damp spirits have trouble moving. I will write a public invitation to board of supervisors meeting on facebook.

Freckles a poppin'
Real vitamin D for me
Pink cheeks and big smile

Day 56

Three dogs get baths this morning and while that’s happening I’ll do my monthly race through Walmart. If it stays dry I can tackle the soggy mess of decaying bales and decide what to do about a garden. Last year I had lots of planting done by now and they looked good. I feel my spirits rise when I get dirt under my fingernails and sun on my cheeks. It’s natural to garden and feels good to  provide food for my family.

Lavender roses
Peek into my writing place
saying Good Morning

Day 55

The unrelenting drenching downpour flooded streets and parking lots and made soggy attitudes too. Everyone is edgy with the need for dry air and sunshine. Today, maybe a brief reprieve before we all go stir crazy. Our last conscious aging session was at the pizza parlor and our participants want to be included in the next group! They learned a lot and enjoyed the eight meetings. Rosalie and I will discuss what’s next. We have ideas about where to recruit new participants.

Where is my haiku?
Lost in my gloomy wet mind
Heavy lack of Joy

Day 54

Restless and unfocused. Pick up something, put it down. At the end of the day, nothing has changed. I did fill the green bin with weeds. Today is the last session of our conscious aging group. As it is raining, I’m guessing it will be pizza and conversation. Then Rosie and I will figure out what comes next. It is a worthwhile project and I want to share it. My morning routine is strong. The stretches and exercises are keeping me fit. 

Time for inventory

Is my life as I want it?

Course correction due

Day 53

Yesterday started with a positive attitude and activity and rapidly went downhill. The senior center duty was a chore. Maybe I need to move to a new place for my volunteer service. I came home a bit early to think about it. Finished the book and now there is a third in the series. Today is wet and I have no agenda. The closets call, again. I find distractions from the deep purge I’ve promised. Maybe start slow with the dresser drawers.

I walked until soaked
Looking for signs that spring will come
Bright pinks and reds help

Day 52

Restless night with achy body.  Barometer must be dropping. Monday again and time to get my act together. Must do list: stretches and exercises, wise food choices, pay attention to my use of time and energy. Much as I’m enjoying burying myself in reading, other things need doing. I did get a walk yesterday and an early one today may escape the rain. Feels good to walk the whole route. It means I’m better and to stay that way discipline is required.

Another wet day

I want to plant new green food

Frustrated farmer

Day 51

Accomplished the above agenda and slept well. Reading the next Stephen King book in the Hodges trilogy and enjoying every word. My eyes get tired, teary, and twitchy before I stop! Today is Easter Sunday and church will look like a flower show. My favorite part is the flowering of the cross by the children. There will be goodies after the service. No family event. We only celebrate Thanksgiving. And maybe a family Christmas dinner. We do get together for our birthdays.

No Easter egg hunt

Memories of excitement

Kids finding goodies

Day 50

Didn’t move much yesterday. I did finish the novel and then Megan brought the next one in the series. I did push the button on the dishwasher. Does that count as productive activity? Today I will get out for the farm stand and the shoe shopping. I want to get the rhythm back that makes for a satisfying day. First the stretches and exercises, then minor house stuff, walking, and undertaking a project that will improve the house, the yard or me.

Looking for my JOY

I want to feel warm bubbles

Dry my sodden Soul.

Day 49

My nose is stuck in the King novel that Megan brought me. Reading isn’t as much fun as it used to be and my time engaged is shorter. It’s a good thing or I would sit until page 436. And there are two more books! Today is errands and shopping. I need walking shoes again. Even with the extended rainy days, I get enough walking to wear out shoes. I’m hoping for enough sun to get out in the yard. 

Brief sun peeks today

I'll prance around the garden
Rainbow kind of day

Day 48

Winter weather advisory today. Gloomy soggy brain too. Charlene’s stories were presented with gestures, voices, humor, and told how her ancestors explained nature. Enjoyable experience. Our aging group will meet once more. If it happens to be drier, we will take a mindful walk together, otherwise, we will eat pizza and talk. Today, after senior center duty, is story/memoir group that also turns into friendly sharing. My favorite conversations come from small groups. It takes time and mutual experience to create trust.

Another wet day

One hundred inches of rain

Will Spring ever come?

Day 47

Same old story: want to feel vigorous, not waterlogged. Today I will go to physical therapy and review the stretches. I confess that I have not done them and need help and correction. Later, our conscious aging group will have a guest, Charlene Storr, who will tell Tolowa nature stories and about her place as an elder in her tribe. It is the last meeting of our group. Rosie and I have some ideas for a new group. We need another place.

Oh no! I am hooked
Meg brought me Stephen King books
Compelling stories

Day 46

The town hall was wonderful! Full auditorium and lots of thanks to Huffman for his support of all our issues. He said he was encouraged by the number of people who came out. Interest and action are necessary to hold the line on the current political environment. Today, BOS, another place and time to show up and be a concerned citizen. It’s wet and cold. Where is Spring? I want to fill the green bin again with the weeds from the yard.

BOS today
Show up and be part of it
Involved citizen

Day 45

Half speed this morning. Restless night with broken dreams and frequent waking. Coffee is on the job. After senior center duty, I’m hoping Hollie will come by on her way to errands. She has been busy with all the business of the fire and the car accident and working her days for the district. Megan ordered her cap and gown with cord to show honors. Time flies and Monday’s seem closer than they used to. Later, town hall meeting with Rep. Huffman.

Saw the Giants play!

 Charter wants me to upgrade

That sucks, really stinks

Day 44

Had a vigorous Saturday. Made up for a slothful Friday. Now I’m rarin’ to go again. The moon is out, shrouded with strands of fog. Beautiful and ethereal. It’s palm Sunday and that means our tiny processional in honor of Jesus entering with praise before the Holy Week story. No other agenda. Maybe the yard will get more attention. Dog walks going to happen and maybe a shopping trip. A few groceries would help as I want to make a big soup.

Sunday morning bath

Orchid water therapy

Care gives me beauty

Sorting through memories looking for proud moments and I found a big one. It was buying this house. I went from my parents’ house to my husband’s house. Later, I had children to take care of, another husband’s house. Then at 41 years of age, in 1976. the kids were grown, I was out of the marriage, and I did something on my own and for myself. I felt free when I signed the deed as a single woman. Over the years I have made the decisions about the property and made changes. It is still a symbol of pride that I am a homeowner.

In 1964, age 29, in my cap and gown, I walked down the aisle to receive my diploma from Humboldt state after 12 years of on campus classes, summer school, extension classes, correspondence classes, teaching for four years, raising three children. It was a proud moment. I always knew I would do it and there it was.

After 25 years of teaching for the district, I was acknowledged as teacher of the year. It was good to hear the statements from former students that I had impacted their education and made them feel smart.

Day 43

I spent most of yesterday in bed. Wasn’t well, weather was scary awful, power on and off. Missed a whole day of my life! Today is wet but not wild and we can all settle down again. I’m delighted that both of Wendell’s kids found me on Facebook. I enjoy the connection. Wendell was an important part of my life for many years and we saw each other through numerous events both good and bad. The kids keep that positive connection alive.

A weather lover

Can tire of too many storms

Bring me Springtime soon

Day 42

Weary and bleary. Stormy night and restless sleep with banging and shuddering from the gale force winds. Minnie panicked and was inconsolable. Finally we settled down to the dark and cold. Now power is on and coffee is ingested so all is right with the world. No agenda today. I asked Sheila to come and clean for me. I surrender to asking for household help. I don’t like to do floors. She does a good job and I like having her here.

Piriformos stretch

Helping me move without pain

I love my body

Day 41

There is one more session and yesterday they gave us positive feedback as to what they liked and how we should proceed. Rosie and I will get busy and start another group. It’s wet outside and I’m glad I did as much yard work as the good days allowed. Today is senior center duty and I’m looking forward to going. It’s one of the noisy days with the Boondock band. Later, a quiet afternoon with TV and a lap full of dogs.

Yummy juicy pears

Beauty from blossom to fruit

Summer's happy bites

Day 40

I’m ready for Wednesday with lots of ideas about managing my body and my garden. Karen agreed that I can use the bale material again for kale and chard. Sarah showed me how sleeping on my back will help relax the muscles. I’m in a spring mood ready to blossom forth with vigor and enthusiasm. Later our conscious aging group will continue with the life review. I want to mention palm of the hand memoir writing. It’s an approach that is easy.

My goal for today

Choose and act as my best self

Sleep with content smile

Day 39

Lots of new stretches from Brad. I need to strengthen the muscles around the bursa to relax the point of pain. I can do it. Today I’ll have a massage with Sarah and I will ask her to work on the area. More yard work is on the agenda. I want to finish  clearing the area where I want new grass. Karen may help relocate the bale material for a garden spot. I know she wants to come and smell the lilacs.

Her X-ray fingers
Gently prodding all over
Pisces love their feet. 

Day 38

Church went fine. Good support from others. Yesterday was fun with Hollie and Megan. We had a delicious lunch at Good Harvest. Monday’s senior center duty is always full of stories. Some of the regulars must spend the weekends alone. Then back to PT for another series of sessions to get my bones stable. I’m looking forward to the routine. Later Karen is giving me a foot massage as a late birthday gift. I’ll enjoy it. My feet love attention. Good life.

Welcome first Lilacs

Fragrant beauty for my soul

Gracing April now

Day 37

I’m leading Morning Prayer at St. Paul’s. Haven’t done so in this century. Yesterday Carol gave me her Fitbit and I gave mine to Megan. Carol couldn’t get used to it as she likes wearing her father’s watch. It’s an update on mine and has a better band. Later Hollie is coming to visit and we will go shopping or eating or something together. Her life is currently complicated by the fire and car accident. I appreciate her taking time for me.

Ocean Air farmers

As wholesome as their produce

Grow dewy fresh crops

Sunday memoir

I think it was 1973 when Wendell Peterson asked me to go to church with him. I was a baptized Episcopalian but had only a surface knowledge of the religion. I felt at home instantly, as though I was reuniting with distant family members. Wendell helped me figure out when to stand, kneel or sit. Soon I was singing in the choir, running off the bulletins on an awful gel mimeograph machine, and generally getting involved. Wendell only attended the service and then would hurry away taking me with him. It was when Wendell suddenly dropped out of church that I enjoyed the socializing after the service and became acquainted with the other congregants. I did everything a lay person can do including reading the sermons on the absence of the priest, delivering communion, carrying the chalice, and becoming the Senior Warden for two priests. I had two periods when I did not attend: one when I went to live in Sonoma for eight months, and after Marilla attacked me. I went back when I returned to Crescent City and when Marilla was replaced. I didn’t ever feel that I fit as well after that experience. I lost trust in some long time friends who made comments that indicated they weren’t sure what happened with Marilla. The fact that half the congregation left with me should have been enough evidence that she was the problem. When I went back I had no desire to do anything except attend services. I didn’t want any responsibility any longer. One Sunday, after communion, I went back to my pew and knelt to pray when big hot tears came. I wasn’t crying. Had no idea where they were coming from or what they were about. Hollie saw the tears and said, It’s almost over, meaning the service. No, I said, It is over, meaning my membership. I felt that I had been dismissed. I tried to go back a couple of times but felt out of place.

In 2006, on my birthday, I was thinking of the prayer for birthdays and remembered the many birthday blessings I had received there. Over the next couple of months I ran into members who were warm and friendly. No questions were ever asked about my sudden departure. Hymns would hum in my mind, and I would recognize where they came from and feel kind of nostalgic. When both Mike Tompkins and Pat Black entered into the picture, I knew that I was being called back. They didn’t invite or ask questions. They were simply themselves representing the church in the way they live their lives.

So, the ex-pat returned to find a tiny congregation and an informality that was unexpected. I was warmly welcomed and felt at ease and at home. I might just make it a regular thing.

Day 36

April! March went on forever. Pulled weeds, enough to fill the green bin. Made plans to move the bale material to the old garden site and plant there. I will grow kale and chard and that’s all. The lettuce bowl is shooting up green leaves. Today Megan and I will go to the farm stand and take on fresh produce. It’s time to assess my diet habits and get with the “food as medicine” life style again. I feel well with nutrition.

The Fool, free spirit

Self-trusting, heart leads the way

Optimistic soul